Todd’s Tech Report: January 15, 2015

Sup? (grunt).

What’s going on?

In that bastion of academic excellence called Duke it has been bestowed upon mankind the ability to grow human muscle, outside the body. I have offically begun work on an Instagram clone called RoidBlaster to commemorate the event. Apparently the grown muscle responds just like native tissue to external stimuli such as electrical pulses, biochemical signals and pharmaceuticals. It’s nice to know my HGH injections will take.

Why does it matter?

Well slap some of that sauce in a Bioprinter and now we’re talking. Squeeze out some new lats, quads, abs and glutes baby! Or use it to test drugs’ efficacy and safety without jeopardizing a patient’s health and also to reproduce the functional and biochemical signals of diseases. Whatever, throw another couple plates on there bro, gotta 5RM that piece. Spot me?

Memory Mirror And The End Of Returns

What’s going on?

Oh retail. How your evolutions delight thee. Beacons, geo-fencing, flash-sales, showrooming and now, mirrors. While browsing some Yves Saint Laurent, pop on some Prada and stop in front of the Neiman Marcus Memory Mirror. This fat sack of hash takes video and stills of what you try on for comparison. Even switch up the color and cut in real time. Are they shareable? Done-zo! Query your social networks for a little extra narcism or backhanded fashion slap-down.

Why does it matter?

Lots of buzzwords floating in the wind about the reinvention of the retail experience. Some warranted and others not. I find that if it’s a thing that actually adds value to my shopping experience, it will stick. Memory Mirror seems like a solid bet. Better than the Mystery Mirror. That was just a piece of plywood with “mirror” scrawled on it in lipstick.

Silk Road 3.0 Lives! Yay For Drugs and I2P

What’s going on?

For one, I no longer need to figure out where I can order a hit on someone. Second, I can finally ship that kilo of pure Peruvian oh-so easily again. It looks like Ross Ulbricht’s baby lives! Not on Tor, but on a little-known previously low-profile I2P anonymizing network. Where there’s a pill, there’s a way. Good for you internets. It’s all about privacy when it comes to slingin’ hash.

Why does it matter?

A quick recap. Silk Road 1.0 get taken down by the Feds. Ulbricht goes on trial for ordering hits. Silk Road 2.0 is short-lived. Some blame Tor for having bad code. Or maybe it was the dip-shit running the place. With platform trust in Tor gone, I2P gets its day in the sun. I could go in to tech specs — but that’s boring. Unlike Molly or Krokodil.

Human Art Criticism Is Now Dead

What’s going on?

Robots are way into art. British artist Matthew Plummer-Fernandez has created a Tumblr on which a robot criticizes art. The bot first describes a visual attribute of the piece and then attempts to provide insight into its significance or its perception of the work. I read through them and frankly I don’t know. Pretty abstract stuff. Time to enroll in a $40k MFA program to legitimize my views.

Why does it matter?

Lots of hype around AI’s abilities these days. Deep learning and what not…some warranted, others not.

Here’s an example of what this art bot is saying:

“A pair of scissors that is on a metal surface or rather a set of wood that is on top of a bench. That reminds me of an image of steel over a hole with wires on it.”

About this image:

I don’t know. You decide. I think it looks like Skrillex.

Link Bait

The Congressional Caucus of the Internet of Things is a thing.

GoPro stock nosedives on Apple patent announcement.

Siri’s inventors are making a new AI called Viv that does anything.

Go here to WIN the fight for NET NEUTRALITY.

Eye Candy

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