Todd’s Tech Report: September 24, 2014
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Instadisturbing. WTF?
What’s going on?
One big reason not to put pictures of your kid on Instagram #tinderisok. People be stealin’ baby pics, man, and reposting them anonymously for a little “baby roleplaying” (see pic comments). Good god. Not the darkest corner of the web, but clearly left-field shit, that’s over the fence, out to pasture and closer to Mordor. Past the Eye of Sauron, some are creating entire fake families and even fake adoption agencies – where they take picture requests. Shut it down!
Why does it matter?
Put the lotion in the basket, man, this shit is creepy. There’s a place for this. Like on Babynames.com via a message board called “Fantasy Families”. All fine and good – have at it. But stealing someone’s baby picture so, “mees cwan pwetent I pweety.” Fuck me. Get a job. Get out of the house. Go bowling. Learn to swallow swords. LARP. Anything but trolling Instagram to fill a void in your life.
HBO To-Go
What’s going on?
Cord-cutters rejoice! HBO may hop off the cable caliphate and join the unwashed masses. Murmurs abound that they may take their game on the direct-to-customer train, leaving cable in the dust for a more direct and personal relationship with their lord and savior, the modern customer.
Why does it matter?
It cuts out the middleman. No more indulgences to be paid for access to the higher-power. Sans cable providers, HBO is free to fly on its own wings. Unhinged from the bastions of the cable-damned. Netflix, beware, they are coming for you – along with four horsemen and Kirk Cameron.
Silent Robot Cheetahs
What’s going on?
Speaking of cutting cords, the brainiac zone over at MIT have released the hounds! More specifically, a tetherless robotic cheetah that can run and jump. Heads up ISIS, this thing is hangry. Yeah, right. But we’re getting closer to a pack of wireless barbarian killers.
Why does it matter?
Past versions of this were bulky, gas powered and/or required some kind of wire tether to operate. MIT has come a long way. This thing can bound along at 30mph and jump over one-foot obstacles. Right, not the super robot army of jet-powered laser ferrets we were promised; but in short order, these may accompany our men and women in arms during their next engagement with a large-scale domestic protest.
Why You Head For The Border
What’s going on?
Late night snacks. Love ‘em. Hate ‘em. Need ‘em because you just finished a case-race and the next stop is bed spins lest you ingest something greater than Wheat Thins? Jawbone plotted the user data of its UP fitness tracker app to uncover trends in eating habits. Point blank: everyone craves sugar and fat from midnight to 4am. You’re in good company while you pound those seven Locos Tacos…alone…on your couch…with your cats.
Why does it matter?
I can’t think of a good reason why it would other than stating the obvious. When we’re tired, we make less of the hormone leptin, which brings on a satiated feeling, and more of the hunger hormone ghrelin. As a result, our sleepy brains pull a few tricks to nudge our bodies towards energy pick-me-ups in the form of calories. Duh. Don’t need an app for that. Just Wikipedia and a writing deadline.
Linear Note: When I’m not trolling Craigslist as a water witch exorcist I help the SXSW Interactive Festival curate content.
