Todd’s Tech Report: September 4, 2014

Gelled Up Dutchman Launches 12 Startups in 12 Months

What’s going on?

Heard of ‘Play My Inbox’ or ‘Go Fucking Do It’? Yes, no or maybe depending on the company you keep, how many drinks you’ve had and who is there to impress. Well here’s the deal. Pieter Levels is launching these simple serving “startups” at an Ebola-like pace. All while traveling the world and most likely participating in pyramid marketing schemes to pay the bills. But who cares!?!?! This is sexy and he looks very thoughtful. Plus he’s Dutch so of course he smokes hash.

Why does it matter?

Whether or not this is link-bait fodder it’s interesting that simple services are considered startups. Seems a bit one note. A bit boring. Quantity over quality perhaps? A dumbing of the internet? But I’m probably old, wrong and uniformed. Aparently blogging selfies is the new newsroom! (h/t Mr. Comm). But maybe Mr. Levels is gazing into the future. He’ll probably cash out on one next week. Levels baby. Levels. And more hair product.


Neurons Know More Than You Think

What’s going on?

Right, so Neurons. These guys are in your mind pocket but did you know they extend to the skin. They do cool things. Tactile shit. They let you know just how crisp the hundos in your wallet are. Big news here is they’re not just one dimensional like your last Tinder date. The tip of your finger is a mini-brain. Wha? Yes, indeed we have embarked on an odyssey to the mental event horizon.

Why does it matter?

These peripheral neurons, which are engaged when a fingertip examines an object, perform the same type of calculations done by neurons in the cerebral cortex. To lay it out Walmart sale style: This means that our touch experiences are already processed by neurons in the skin before they reach the brain for further processing. Thinking fingertips. Paper cuts now matter even more.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooRWs6FkVdo

Radiohead Returns From The Earths Core

What’s going on?

I have no idea what’s going on in that video. More than likely Mr. Yorke and Co. found something growing under their studio’s console, ate it and pushed record while hitting a sequencer with a paddle ball. But let that not take away the value of this little tease (hee hee). Much like Bjork and others, these elders of apocalyptic thought-rock are choosing to tease via app. A binary amuse bouche.

Why does it matter?

All eyes on Radiohead when they start poking their head up from the Netherworld. It’s just part of our collective zeitgeist. Like the three week media frenzy around forbidden fruit phones. But make no mistake ‘On A Friday’ (trivia!) have mainstreamed many an idea in how they control and release their creativity. So when will a band put out a record via Snapchat? Or how can I score some of that console growth?


Leviathan’s Lair Could Power A City

What’s going on?

Deep tech…literally. Conceptually it’s kind of easy. Just a spin on thermal energy for the masses. Gotta go down about 1000 meters to get it though. Here’s the gig: Warm ocean water is pulled from the surface and fed into a heat exchanger (think air conditioner), where it vaporizes a low-boiling-point liquid such as ammonia (think toilet bowl cleaner). This vapor drives a turbine to create electricity (think hot air blown in a disgruntled Facebook comment thread moving a hamster wheel). Then cold water drawn from the deep ocean condenses the ammonia back into liquid to complete the loop. It’s the damn blood of Poseidon powering our planet!

Why does it matter?

Closed loops are great for power generation. They create little to no waste. Plus anything using the thermal energy of the earth is usually a win for our environment. This idea is only able to power the actual plant and throws off no excess power. But, scale this bad boy up and things change. In four years it will happen. Less polar vortexes and more giant squid deaths. But at least we’ll know it’s real Calamari. Am I right?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thUsf0d8Kds#t=64

Body Scanned Bespoke Suits!

What’s going on?

First off, I know I have to up my suit game. The jeans and t-shirt drill I’ve been poppin’ for the last 3 months is getting old. I’m thinking, a tailored three piece with a pocket watch and monocle. I’ll fit right in around the office. That’s when I’ll go visit Alton Lane and let them get all TSA on me. It’s like a giant Maker Bot Replicator for the Wall Street set. Scan, measure and store it in the cloud.

Why does it matter?

Well the next time I’m feeling a bit frisky I’ll call in a custom order from my Mykonos villa. Or maybe I could just fly them over in the G6. Better yet, they could size me on the G6 and have it ready when I land in Cannes. In short, it’s another sign of fashion adopting a technology that drives down costs. Further advancing opportunities for smaller labels/designers to get into the bespoke game. And fly in my G6.


Text Mex

What’s going on?

Everyday taco, breakfast taco, fish taco, and mystery taco? Yes, Taco Text exists.

Why does it matter?

It doesn’t. Bravo tech news cycle.


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