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FLYING & KVETCHING
Airplane Passengers I Want to Banish to the Annoying Flyers Section
Better Yet? Please Stay Home
I fly a lot. It’s usually a good experience. And by good, I mean that the planes I’m in never crash, and when it comes to air travel, let’s face it, that’s the only metric that really matters.
That being said, there are certain passengers who try my patience.
Here’s a list:
Mr. Stinky food Eater We’re all sitting squished together in an enclosed space, so naturally you bring aboard and proceed to eat a biggest, stinkiest lunch you could buy in the terminal. Thanks, pal.
Madame Stinky Toes. You settle into your seat and you take your shoes off.
No!
Wrong!
Stop!
The only place it’s okay to remove your shoes when you’re traveling is in the security line.
Body Odor Dude
You forgot to shower before you came to the airport? And also for a few days before that? Shame on you!
You’re the reason I never travel without nose plugs.
The Clueless Daddy/Screaming Baby Combo
Babies fly. And babies cry. That’s just life.
People who freak out when a traveling baby won’t stop howling despite all parental efforts to quiet and calm them? You need to get over yourselves. You were a baby once.
Parents on planes with sobbing infants always get sympathetic looks, not outraged glares, from me. The only exception? The parent (almost always a dad) who sits there, absorbed in his screen, ignoring his sobbing child as if there’s nothing that can be done.
As a parent and grandparent who knows how many things you can try to soothe and quiet your baby before giving up?
I want to punch these dudes.
