POLITICAL HUMOR

Terrified Trump Takes Traditional Track

Backing out ain’t hard to do

Photo by Samantha Sophia on Unsplash

So he backed out. This is a bit surprising because it means he is smart enough to realize that he isn’t smart enough to debate “Karmela”, if that’s what he thinks her name is now.

I’m sad, though, and therefore have prepared some possible zingers Kamala could have used when he acted up at the cage match. I use that term because only one woman was ever going to walk out alive.

When he mangles her name

“Oh, doh-neld, don’t bother trying. We know these multi-syllable words can be hard for you.”

When he talks out of turn

“Hey, guys, the child is trying to be heard. Turn on his mic!”

When he lies

“Gosh, Donnie, I lost track of your fibs. Could you refresh my memory on the count?”

When he says she isn’t Black

“Are you German, Donnie? Or is it Scottish? This mixed parentage stuff gets so confusing, doesn’t it?”

If he says she ‘happened to turn black”

“When did you turn orange?”

When he calls her childless

“Hey, Donnie, how much did you pay that doorman?” (https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/trump-world-tower-doorman-contract-affair-national-enquirer/)

The cat lady thing

“I don’t have any pets right now, but a friend has an overweight orange tabby. He’s getting old now and often seems very confused. I feel sorry for him, but he is almost eighty in cat years.”

When he calls her dumb

“Oh, I so wish I could be a stable genius like you, Donnie.”

When he says she failed a law exam

“Just how was it that you were first in your class but didn’t get Honors? That’s really weird, Donnie, really weird.”

Some other responses in case a chance arrives

“It would be hard to wear heels with bone spurs, Don. Glad I didn’t have any.”

“How much was that porn star settlement?”

“We know the weird things you like to grab.”

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