The Top 10 Scientific Sounding Excuses

(The Top 5 Science humor list for 19 September 2017)

10) I was conducting extended rapid eye movement research.

9) An unanticipated perforation caused by FOD resulted in null barometric pressure of the tire.

8) A toroidal component of my conveyance had a catastrophic failure resulting in a reduction of internal pressure.

7) I’m not crying. I just suddenly have extreme lachrymation from a foreign object in my ocular region.

6) It’s not you, it’s a mutual discontinuity in our major histocompatibility complexes.

5) Sorry I’m late; I got stuck in a nasty If/Then loop.

4) Officer, I would posit that our cars were entangled at a quantum level, and it was only upon your arrival that their wave functions collapsed into this accident.

3) Rapid increase in entropy due to interaction with canine mandibles resulted in significant information loss and the late submittal of assigned paperwork.

2) My canis lupus familiaris obtained caloric sustenance by consuming the output of my assigned educational exertions.

1) I’m previously committed to the application of a compound of detergents and emulsifiers to the follicular output of my cranial dermis.

Selected from 31 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

1: Marshall Gatten, Albuquerque, NM
2: Marshall Gatten, Albuquerque, NM
3: Paul Van Opens, Ellicott City, MD
4: Paul Van Opens, Ellicott City, MD
5: Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY
6: Jerry Lane, Newark, NJ
7: Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY
8: Marshall Gatten, Albuquerque, NM
9: Alan Rice, North Tustin, CA
10: Alan Rice, North Tustin, CA
Topic: Alan Rice, North Tustin, CA
List Moderator: Larry Baum, Kowloon, Hong Kong
Copyright 2017 by Larry Baum

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