Stop the Screen Shaming
Here’s the thing, parents.
There’s a lot of screen shaming going on out there. Moms and Dads feel guilty every time they let their kid pick up an iPad. Much of our guilt with screen time is because we have this deep-rooted fear that when they are on a device they are missing out on some crucial element of childhood. I get that, and it’s legitimate. Some of my greatest childhood memories are of climbing trees, swim meets, exploring in the woods behind my house. But you know what else I have fond memories of? Oregon Trail. Rugrats. MS Paint (yes, the computer program). AOL Instant Messenger. *69 and three-way calling. The Little Mermaid. Saved by the Bell. Super Mario Bros. Being blown away when I got my first Hotmail account at the age of 11. These are things that bonded a generation, too. And our children’s generation will one day be nostalgic about Minecraft in the same way.
The world is positively exploding with innovation in technology. It is mind blowing. You probably feel on top of your game right now because your software is up-to-date and you know that Snapchat exists and you’ve even figured out how to use the Flashlight app on your phone. And that’s awesome! I give myself an air high five every single time I manage to Airdrop a picture to my computer. But the truth is, we cannot be the bar by which we measure our children. We just can’t. They have already surpassed us by being born when they were born and having access to the gadgets and knowledge that children now have access to. They are winning at technology. And they will continue to do so. And just because we as parents will never fully understand it does not mean we should hold them back. On the contrary, if we want them to be among the next elite innovators, leaders, thinkers, they will have to be immersed in this digital world.
Do you know what is happening out there? 3D Painting. Digital Makeup. Animal thought translators. True scale holograms. Bug-sized drones. Self-driving cars. This is not our children’s future, it is their present. It will only get crazier from here. Don’t you want them to be a part of that? The possibilities are so far beyond what we can imagine, they border on magic. And our kids have the potential to be the ones creating that magic. I can think of nothing more wonderful to offer my child than the potential to create magic and to decide how she wants that magic to improve our world.
So I’d like to proclaim, loud and clear: Screens are not the problem! They are a tool, a playground, a way to unwind, create, or connect. Shutting them off because we don’t understand everything our kids are doing isn’t the solution. It will only make their road to greatness more challenging. Don’t let fear drive this. We have to find a new approach.
My suggestion is that we do the opposite of our instinct. We see our kids spending hours and hours on a site, game, or app and we say, “Good grief! That’s enough!” And we shut it off. What if instead of closing it off and in the process pushing them away, we rolled up our sleeves and got in there? What if we sat down next to them on the couch and had them explain exactly what they’re playing? What if we played with them? This not only creates an opportunity to grow closer to our kids, but also gives us insight into what they are really interested in. Suddenly, we have a new window into the passions that drive them. Maybe that video game obsession is actually an advanced skill in spatial reasoning, architecture, logistics, or strategy. Maybe a kid spending too much time on social media is actually a kid who is an excellent communicator, marketer, photographer, or empathizer. And once you know the motivations behind why they’re interacting with certain things, you can offer them outlets to utilize those skills and passions, both online and off.
Set boundaries, of course. And be consistent with those boundaries. But don’t let the fear of the unknown motivate how you respond to this rapidly changing technological world. It’s magic! And I can’t wait to see what our kids create with that magic.
*This piece was written as a part of the Torch Community of parents. Torch is a smart, wifi router that offers parents digital peace of mind as their kids explore the internet. Check out Torch here: Web | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
