10 Ways Online Dating Demoralizes Our Love Motivation
I suspect most men on the dating platforms are merely trolling for sex. It’s obvious to state most have lose interest no later than the morning after-some sooner. I say that based on what many women I’ve dated told me, because I can’t trust my judgment — I would assume 99% of the men were pimping, because that’s my cynicism coming on strong.
Pity, that so many woman interested in a meaningful relationship confine themselves to such an impersonal and often abusive social environment. Far many more women exclusively seek men this way than they tell pollsters.
Share of internet users in the United States who have used online dating sites or apps as of April 2017, by gender
-a mere 11%, and according to Psychology Today citing a Pew Study — bullshit!
“more than 15% of adults say that they have used either mobile dating apps or an online dating site at least once in the past. Online dating services are now the second most popular way to meet a partner . (Psychology Today)
What then is the first, or the other 85%? It can’t be out in the world, where almost no one looks at anything without a screen on it.
Such polls are unreliable because people lie in them. They lie because of the stigma of online dating: about 25% said that only desperate people dated online:
10 Ways Online Dating Platforms Suck the Life Out of the Human Mating Ritual
- Lies: says Psychology Today in another study, A total of 53% of US participants admitted to having lied in their online dating profile. Women apparently lied more than men, with the most common dishonesties being about looks. Over 20% of women posted photos of their younger selves.
- Commodification: — of human flesh. By engaging online, you are merely marketing yourself, competing with other people, some of whom are a whole lot greedier than you. Remember, that no one has forced you to do this to yourself, to spend down your money on membership and tokens. You’re no masochist: stop it, now!
- Ghosting: don’t like something this stranger texted? Just block him like he never happened. If we can wipe away people so easily when we become the least bit disenchanted with them, then our real life relationships can’t be far behind? If you don’t take rejection well, the dating sites are going to be painful for you — man or woman.
- Men being men — hirsute, bestial, and loathsome: in anonymity, men will ever be at their absolute worst. Foul-mouthed, sexist, belligerent, dishonest, they flourish and abuse with impunity: “While most people would agree that on average men are more eager for sex than women, it seems that many men make the assumption that if a woman has an online dating presence, she’s interested in sleeping with relative strangers.
- Anger: “Love can hardly linger in the house of anger — EP. ‘Hello!” “Piss-off”: There is no longer a lingua franca in dating transactions: I apologize for being so intrusive as to text you a little compliment …’ I suppose I was mistaken in expecting people to be the least bit socialized on a dating site .. if you acted that way in real life, you might be spat at. Whatever happened to a polite rebuttal?
- Grift: catfish and other sucker profiles flourish on sites like OK Cupid. For example, a gal wanted to meet me. Said she was in Central America helping dying babies. She lost her Traveler’s Checks <yawn> etc.
- Leftovers: almost all the good ones are taken. The ones that aren’t are not flocking to the online sites. Some are not because they are desirable or have no problem making real life connections. The few that remain are often damaged goods, who rarely meet strangers in real life. What kind of relationship are you expecting to get? What’s more — “Couples who met online are nearly 3 times as likely to get divorced as couples that met face-to-face.(Psych.)
- Losers: just like in real life, incompetents, rubes and simpletons, congregate online, as well. They can ‘communicate’ in a way that never transposes into real life, where they are incapable of doing so. If they could communicate intelligibly, you wouldn’t need all the frivolous ‘Likes’ ‘and Favs’ buttons. Heck, a monkey in Russia could be hittin’ that button.
- Danger Will Robinson!: really- no joke! the Internet is a perfect veil for kidnappers, stalkers, perverts, and other nut-cases. I can attest to at least one stalker in my experience. As the membership base continues to mainstream, thugs masquerading as too promising quarry will continue to lure unwitting souls to their fate.
- Introverts: hate to say it, but they flock online. They can be difficult to get along with -ask any of my exes. However, introverts tend to do well with a tiny fraction of other introverts whom they empathize with. Other people — especially extroverts — may find them aloof and self-absorbed. The introverts think them crass and unrefined.
What can I say — , be careful out there, be more circumspect? I do. But I also say, that there’s far more than 10 or 15% of people exclusively dating online. I think more so especially women, as I suppose they feel more in control of what happens when they don’t have to face a predatory stranger. If this were not the case, than how come almost no single woman enjoys going out alone on the town. Might as well paint a huge bull’s-eye on your back.
‘Of even more appeal to men and women is the banal efficiency with which they can ghost or abandon each other with no ceremony whatsoever.
Finally, strangers rarely interact with each other — even in social situations — unless it’s to sneer, growl, cuss. The prospect of an interesting stranger will never prove more alluring than the ‘screen,’ which is pretty much where I started this diatribe. It’s harsh to read these things, I know, but it is meant in hope that people begin to again seek loving-kindness in real life, because it is not happening online for most of us, is it now?
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