“Who Do You Trust? Marble Jars and Empathy”
“How do you know who to trust? How do you know who has the ability to offer you empathy and not a ‘one up’ or ‘poor you’ response?
Brené Brown says ‘people have to earn the right to hear your story.’ Meaning, people need to show you that they can hold your tender emotional parts, will care what happens to you and how you feel, and will value your connection enough to keep things to themselves.
In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené talks about Marble Jar friends. She tells a great story of her daughter’s teacher who kept a jar in the classroom and each time the class did something positive a marble went in the jar. Conversely, when the class veered into the land of negatives marbles were removed.
We can use the idea of the Marble Jar to help define who to trust and to what limits.
How do you determine when marbles go in and out of your Marble Jar? For me, marbles go in when a friend does things like follows through, shows up on time, invites me to occasions, shares deeper thoughts, and demonstrates care.”
http://www.catherinebruns.com/who-do-you-trust-marble-jars-and-empathy/
Brene Brown ❤
Related: “The Six “Caring Words” that Block Intimacy”