Life Lessons
An Indian Monk Who Saved My Life, Taught Me How To Be Happy?
An unknown monk, who finds me in a crowd.
During the dark period of my life, I had nothing, no place to stay, no money, and had only two options, either be homeless or go back home to the place where my alcoholic father and depressed mother lives, which also was the reason that I moved out.
I wrote theatre plays, that were liked by a theatre production, so I packed my bag and went there intending to work and live. But they delayed saying your story is good yet we don’t have time to make it, and I have to wait at least 2 months.
I am like “2 MONTHS??, I will be homeless in 2 months”
But then I got a little hope when a guy from that theatre production wanted someone to write a play, and I happily agreed.
One of my relatives lived in that city and they were happy to keep me for a few months, and I said I will pay you, later.
Everything was going according to plan, I was working my ass off, writing that play having group discussions, and also trying to find a part-time job.
But the timing never matched, since the group discussion can vary and there was no particular time, and sometimes it goes for 2,3 hours. But I have high hopes that I might get some work in that theatre production, just have to make sure, my work looks the best.
I also got an offer for a part-time job, and the play was about to get finished on time.
I was happy, but Destiny had some other plan, the very next day, that play got delayed because the people I was writing with got into other projects so now they have no interest in continuing it. An hour later, I got a text rejecting the offer for a part-time job. By evening when I got to my relative’s(aunt) place she said, that 2 days later some of their guests were coming so she wanted me to go somewhere else.
I thought let’s go back home, but when I called my father, he was drunk and my mother was crying, my father is not abusive, but my mother is religious so she hates it when my father drinks, which leads to daily war.
My father said, “Stay there and work.”
Anyone who drinks alcohol and has kids, please read this-
But after my father’s comment, I was completely shattered.
I couldn’t imagine that one day, my life could get upside down this bad. I wanted to cry, but even tears were not listening to me.
I went out of my aunt’s house and looked around, thinking where to go, and what to do. Honestly, I couldn’t see any way out.
In a split second, my eyes searched for help. And when things go down, we reach to god.
There was an ISKCON temple that I went to before, just for the blessings when I came to this city, they also gave free food, after they offered to Lord Krishna.
For someone who doesn’t know ISKCON(The International Society for Krishna Consciousness) is an organization that has temples all over the world, Monks also live there, they pray, and they teach about Krishna and his teachings.
So I thought, let’s go there, and think what to do, and if I couldn’t find any way out, then….
Outside, I looked at the temple, I didn’t know what to expect, so I took a deep breath and went inside. At 4 PM the temple closes, after the Arti(worship ritual), so just went there to attend the Aarti, maybe asking for help.
The temple about to get close, so I just sat there for 5 minutes, after the Aarti the monks, usually give flowers which is on Lord Krishna’s feet, but in the crowd of people, I rarely got any flowers.
Luckily, A Pujari(Monk who does the Aarti ritual)called me from afar and gave me the flower.
I don’t know how he only called me, as I was not even near him. Maybe, he saw my depressed face. But as he gave me the flower, he said “Meet me back when the temple closes”. Behind the temple, there is a building, where the young and old monks stay, and in front of that building, there is a small garden.
So I went and sat down on the grass, worried why he called me, did I do anything wrong? that’s how I always think, negative!
But he came, with a sweet smile, and asked me how are you?
I lied as we all do, and said “I’m fine”.
Maybe he knew, that I was not fine. I mean I also have intuition when I see someone going through depression, even if they smile.
We talked for about an hour or so and during that, he told me many things that I had never thought about. Later, I gave it a lot of thought but in those conversations, he didn’t tell me to be positive or be happy. Instead, he told me how to be happy.
But he also gave me the disclaimer, that he can only show me the path, in the end, I have to walk and find out myself because the answer to everyone’s How is different.
And it changed me into who I am, mentally!!
So, I thought now is a good time, so let me share in few points on How to be happy!!
When the monk asked what my end goal in life was, I naively said “Need some money, then write plays, maybe buy a house for my mom and — ”
He laughed for a good 10 seconds and said “But when you will be old, on the deathbed will you be satisfied with that?”
I said, “I think so”
Then he said “Then why rich people are still scared to die, if they achieve everything and has all the money, why they are so scared about death”
Then he said something, that made me question my goal
He said, “Do you know among many monks who live there, 60% of them are rich and some young monks are their because their rich parents send them.”
In my head, I was like, do monks lie?
But then I saw expensive cars, outside the temple, whose either parents or close relatives come to meet.
Then he said, “If money is your goal, just like them, will you ever think to become a monk?”
I said “Uhhhhhh..No(whisper)”
“But then why are they here?”
Then he said that I always remember
Your end goal must be happiness that doesn’t come from the material realm(Maya).
Whatever your goal is, it shouldn’t have any relation whatsoever with a person or a thing, no matter how attractive it is.
When we die, our soul either suffers or enjoys according to our deed, in the higher realm by the god and also in the material realm.
He said “Why some are born rich, and some remain poor, it’s coz in your past lives, if you did a good deed you get to eat tasty fruit in this life, and if you did some bad deed you will have a rotten fruit. But the one who is born rich gets caught up so much in the material realm that he/she commits many bad deeds and ends up poor in the next birth, and the cycle continues, so to break this cycle of birth and rebirth we first find happiness within”
I asked “But how to find happiness within?”
“Just don’t do bad deeds, like I am doing, helping you. We only have two choices in every situation, do the right thing or wrong and if you walk away and choose not to do anything, you still did the wrong thing, any path that is not the truth is already false, so just focus on the right path and Krishna will take care of the action, just like Krishna said Arjuna in a battlefield —
You have the right to work but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive nor your attachment be the cause of inaction.”
Till then I got a little more confident to ask him more questions, as it was confusing for me, so I asked “How to know what’s right and what’s wrong, when I don’t even know where I am in life?”
Monk said something that actually helped me —
“Why are you so eager to search the path, the path will come when the time is right, your job is to do good deeds not only externally but also internally. Your soul is suffering, it knows everything when you do something bad or think bad, coz it knows the repercussions of it, the soul has wandered for many thousand lifetimes, so first learn to take care of your soul, the path will come to you.
Without me asking How, maybe he knew I was about to, he said if you want to take care of your soul, first —
“Never use bad words, even as a joke”
When you say bad words your soul hears it, and it already suffered through hell and heaven. Say positive words, say good things doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not, just say it. Say it so many times that it reaches the soul and if your soul realizes it and believes it, it means you already believed it.
Even tho, he told me to Chant Krishna. But I think every word has its energy, chant anything as long as it’s powerful and positive.
So I started with “I Love Myself” Which I had already written a story on how it works for me.
Then gradually I started chanting Krishna.
And I couldn’t believe, how the perception of my thinking changed so drastically, now even in my worse situation, I look at what’s positive or what I learn from this. Which is amazing, my stress level went down and I used to take anxiety pills now I haven’t taken any for 6,7 months.
But one more thing and he told me to do, is
Say Positive Thing First In The Morning
He said “When you wake up, take a deep breath fill your stomach with air, and exhale through your mouth then chant for 2 minutes and do your daily thing and after shower chant again, when you go to sleep, chant till you sleep”
At that time, I just nodded and agreed, because even hearing all this my main worry was, where do I go now?
He looked at his watch, smiled, and said “I talk too much, it’s almost 6PM, I have to go for dinner”
I touched his feet, as he was going. But I still need a place, I stopped him and I told him everything.
He looked at his watch again and said “Why you are making things so complicated, I told you, everyone has two choices, you left home, and you thought it a good thing, but now you know it was not a good path, coz you left your mom alone, go back there, told them everything, and don’t worry after some time your father will be sober”
I am still living with my father, working on my play, and working as a content writer, And guess what, My father is Sober now!! And my mom is happy, which already makes me happy, but the underlying thing that I take for granted is —
NOW, I DON’T WORRY ABOUT THINGS I CAN'T CONTROL.
I hope this story, will help you somewhere find your own peace, through yourself, because no matter how many podcasts or success stories or motivational speeches we listen to, all changes first come within!!
