Bill Murray the Bartender — With the Actor tending a shift last week, we ask Who should be next?

At the age of 65, Bill Murray is doing what he wants to do.

Last week the comedic legend lent his hand and charisma to help re-launch his son Homer’s (how fitting is his son’s name) new bar 21 Greenpoint. As you would expect the evening was a hoot as Mr. Murray dazzled the Brooklyn crowd to shots of Slovenia Vodka and drinks called The Depth Finder. With Instagram and the Internet ablaze with this news (you can find more of a detailed account of his shift here), we wondered, who should be next to tend bar?

There are numerous celebrities we could choose from, comedians (your obvious first choices), other actors, musicians, politicians, to you name it. Therefore, we’ve decided to only pick 5. There are some rules however.

1. You must be a celebrity of some form — ie. can you bring in an audience and will your presence set off Twitter and Instagram
2. You have to be alive — picking Robin Williams would be awesome, his corpse would not be
3. You can’t be the following: Bill Cosby, O.J. Simpson, Chris Brown — sorry no rapists, killers or abusers. (By the way, while we’re on the subject of Bill Cosby, my God what a shitty way to be remembered. Successful for 40+ years as a comic and TV legend this idiot decides that raping women is the way to go. Nice one bud. Makes you wonder what he did on the set of the Cosby Show…run Rudy! Run!)

That’s it.

In descending order here are the Top 5.

5. Yao Ming

Yup all 7'10" of him. He was technically listed as being 7'6" as an NBA player but he’s way taller than that. Just look at him standing next to 7'1" Shaquille O’Neal.

That’s way more than a 5" gap there folks.

So why Yao?

I have 3 reasons:

1. His being tall would be fun to watch. He’d tower over you and the bar like a freak cyborg. Not to poke fun at his height but seeing this large specimen make you a whisky sour would surely capture everyones attention.
2. You may not think it but Yao’s hugely popular. He’s by far the biggest and most known Chinese athlete ever. Seriously can you name another Chinese celebrity more famous than him? Jackie Chan maybe and he’s not even relevant anymore. With a population of over 1.6 Billion, that’s a huge following.
3. He’s into wine. Yao Ming wine exists! Wtf?? He owns his own winery in Napa and seems to know a lot about it. I don’t know about you but talking to a 7'10" wine lover turned bartender for the night would be something.

oh and he’s got a sense of humour.

Yes Yao Ming you’re definitely our 5th pick.

4. Louis CK

Can you blame us for this choice? This list must contain at least one comedian and Louis is definitely who it should be. The man’s a comic legend. Not only is he supremely talented (Horace and Pete is great if you haven’t seen it) but he’s also upredictable. Having him sling drinks and possibly getting into a weird conversation with a shitty rich kid would be awesome. I have a feeling Louis would go off on various tangents only to lose himself while trying to remember what goes into a margarita. His drinks most likely would be shitty but the entertainment alone would be pricelss.

Imagine uploading a post to your Snapchat feed of him doing something like this?

3. Jon Hamm as Don Draper

Ok so I’m cheating a little here, but hey so what, I never said fictional characters were off limits. Plus the man who acted as him is still only a year off playing the role so he’d still look the same. Regardless, Don Draper himself behind the bar in my opinion is the career the man should have persued if he’d not have become an AdMan.

Keep him in the suit, with a cigarette in one hand while the other stirs that Manhattan you’ve ordered. He’d look so cool doing it that it would be hard not to stop and just watch. Standing there, tall, dark and handsome, Don would pacify your time with casual looks and a focused intensity. You’d watch him act as if he’d not have a care in the world only to sell you on how you ought to drink your martini. Simple and easy he’d say and you’d oblige. Don would have you hooked from the minute you’d sit down. This is why he’s sitting here nicely as our third choice for celebrity bartender. Watch him in action if you’re curious to see why he’s so high.

2. Will Ferrell

Much like Bill Murray, Ferrell is your classic horsing around “I can’t believe he did that” comedian. “Ferrell Takes the Field” is one of his weirdest yet funniest roles/stunts and it’s probably not even in his Top 10 all time moments. Having him come into the bar, most likely drunk already, screaming at everyone for not giving him a high five, Ferrell would have you remembering his one shift as one of the best times of your life. He’d be ridiculous, insane and downright out of control. He’d hit on your girlfriend, drink your beer, tell you what you should eat then he’d fuck up ordering it up only to blame you for it. It would be weird and insane and totally expected.

Plus the bar would have to have a band, just so he do this. Cowbell anyone?

1. Donald Trump

As if you didn’t already half expect this. The man’s walking theatre. Heading into the final stretch of his election campaign, The Donald would bring so much attention to his shift behind the bar Twitter might very well shutdown over the hype. His antics and insane bravado would only work in some super high end douchey club where rich guys pat themselves on the back for making that extra Mil. The Donald and his wonderfully small hands would serve the best grey goose and sodas. He’d tell stories of how he made himself rich and famous and how you could too. It’d be utter BS but theater nonetheless. He’d eventually leave half shift only to expect to be paid for a full nights work.

Love him or hate him The Donald has to be our number 1 celebrity bartender.