How To Use Daily Obstacles To Build Up Confidence Instead of Lose It
Confidence comes from your beliefs and the evidence that confirms those beliefs.
In the context of work, it comes from evidence in the marketplace and/or your internal colleagues.
The key then becomes doing work that rises above the rest and causes you to believe in yourself.
As you strive to hit that goal, naturally, there are barriers, obstacles and more.
There’s your own self to put up with, your colleagues and their selves, your boss and your clients.
Obstacles, challenges and even chaos are a daily part of our striving existence, in both personal and professional endeavors.
The ultimate key is embracing obstacle and challenges as fuel for energy to bring out your best self which creates growth and progress.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Start Your Day Expecting Obstacles To Happen And Hold Yourself Accountable For How You React and Respond — Not The Actual Outcomes
Acknowledge that obstacles will happen and expect them to happen. Take them on and embrace them.
Hold yourself accountable to how you react and respond to those obstacles, not the outcomes themselves.
You’re never going to be able to control all outcomes at work.
There are absolutely too many factors at play to expect yourself to.
This is when people get overwhelmed and stressed out.
Embrace uncertainty and recognize you can only do your best and hold yourself accountable to how you react, respond and thus embrace obstacle for growth or decay.
Here’s what Marcus Aurelius, arguably the most powerful man to have ever lived would tell himself each morning as both a tactic of self preservation yet accountability:
“The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own — not of the same blood and birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.”
Be careful however to not expect and illicit bad behavior from colleagues.
Give people the benefit of the doubt and hold yourself accountable to that high expectation of others to uplift them as well.
Remember: “I am what I think you think I am” plays a serious role in how we’re inspired and how we inspire others.
2. Start Your Day With Work or Creative Work You’re Great At and Enjoy
Taking on the day should be a proactive activity, not a reactive one.
Take time and create a ritual to set this intention.
I start my morning with coffee, reading, work writing and meditation.
I enjoy and love all those things and it get’s me into a positive state of ‘flow’ (explained further in #3).
This requires making time to take space where you aren’t rushed so waking up early when you aren’t being demanded for helps to get into this state.
3. Harness The Power of Your ‘Flow State’ To Create Momentum
Being in flow is a happiness cocktail that’s firing in your mind. Dopamine, serotonin and others that make you feel good
Not only has it been proven that flow is when we’re happiest, it’s also a state of mind you’re confident in.
Why?
Because you get into flow when skill and challenge are aligned and striving toward a goal which is fun and fulfilling.
So do something you’re great at, enjoy and is challenging every morning and build that muscle up. Journal writing is a great way to start.
4. Seek Out Obstacles — Everything That’s Unreasonable Is an Opportunity to Prove Yourself
This isn’t as crazy as it sounds and isn’t intended to make you to create problems or conflict. The point is to create a mindset that views obstacle as an opportunity to prove yourself.
No matter what comes down, the outcome and result is what matters and results end up being honest.
Ie. the asshole at work ultimately doesn’t last.
The unfair ego driven comment always backfires.
The outcome becomes the opportunity always, you need to be looking for it to capitalize (remember always tread lightly).
This mindset builds confidence over time as colleagues respect you.
5. Raise Your Standards To Compare With Peers
Naturally, being a master of your craft builds confidence but often we don’t keep and therefore uphold high standards to compare ourselves to our peers.
Aim to be the best in the world and begin acting like the best in the world.
Assume the role of your boss or your bosses boss or the entrepreneur starting a company to be #1. How would your action change?
I promise if you acted as if and took appropriate action your standards would increase, people would notice and you’d build up your confidence.
Start with these five things and you’re on your way to turning obstacle into opportunity and building evidence based (real) confidence.
