Transgender Topic

It was a choice to be a Trans-Woman…

Many people believe it is a choice to be a trans-women; but is it really a choice?

Beauty Girl
A Trans Life
Published in
4 min readFeb 21

OMG, so the number one argument that I hear going viral is that it is entirely a choice for a person to become a trans-gender male or female. Claiming that trans-gender people have always had a choice and they do it because they enjoy it, or it is an erotic sensation or stimulation of infatuation with the opposite gender.

Photo by Thiago Rocha on Unsplash

Is it really a choice?

Being a trans-woman I have come a long way and seen many situations that have drastically affected my mental capacity to deal with my own emotions involving being a trans-woman. However, being a trans-women was never a choice for me and I believe it is the same for many other individuals out there dealing with being trans.

Imagine This!

Now imagine for just a second what a person going through transition is really like. You wake up at some point in your life realizing that nothing is the way it is supposed to be and you are caught in a world that you don’t fit in. The world around you forces you to do all the things that you don’t want to do. You are told to act a certain way and if you act differently you are going to have repercussions that could drastically affect you.

The thing is no matter what you do you are going to face criticism, be picked on, and ridiculed for being different, but you are being told to act a certain way, and be a certain person all because it is someone else idea of an image of how you are supposed to conform to society. All the while you are hating everything that you are being forced to do because this is what is expected of you.

So you conform, you do what you are told, you follow the guidelines set out by others till you find that breaking point, that single point in time where you just can’t take it anymore, you can’t keep doing the thing you hate and it doesn’t matter the cost because you just can't handle it anymore.

That moment is your tide of truth, the reason for your existence and you finally break free. Now you are able to be who you want to be, find the dream you want, and be the person you want because you are no longer following the guidelines you were forced into.

You became YOU.

Was it a choice?

Was it a choice for me when my father disowned me for being myself and expressing who I was; no it wasn’t but some would argue it was. Was it a choice that I had to put up with all the hate and discrimination from people who saw me as an abomination; no it wasn’t. Was it a choice for me be born into the wrong gender of my own body; Of course not. Was it a choice when I had to sacrifice nearly every friend that I had because they no longer could see me as someone they could know; no that was their choice for not being my friend. Was it a choice when I lost a solid 15-year marriage that I was actually happy in because I changed genders; No, I couldn’t help it and my ex-wife couldn’t accept me as I am. Was it a choice to be faced with all the discrimination laws that are hitting the states right now that target my health, my well-being, and my ability to have human rights; No, that was not my choice.

It was never my Choice

Every single moment in my life could have been a choice, but in reality, it wasn’t. Not because of anyone else, or anything in particular but because I was born with the mental mindset of a female, and the body was misaligned to the gender I was supposed to be a beautiful female. I wouldn’t wish the hate, the trials of horror that trans-women or trans-men have to go through to feel safe, feel at peace, feel as one in their own body on anyone in the world because the pain it brings on you is really overwhelming and very hard to push through.

I don’t think for one second that any person in the world would force themselves to go through the amount of heartache, misery, and cruelty inflicted on them by others, from losing family, being outcasted, hated, attacked, discriminated against, risk losing health care, a job or even having your basic human rights violated on just because you are trans-gender. Especially now with all the laws, the hate, and the social media striking at us even though we are less than 1% of the world population.

So with all of that, no it wasn’t a choice, it wasn’t something I wanted, BUT it was who I am a wonderful and amazing female and I wouldn’t change it no matter the law, the discrimination, or the pain, and suffering because this is me. While it is not what I want, even the — death penalty would still not change my decision to be female —, because to me that's like telling me that I am not a female and I would rather face the death penalty and die a female than to ever give up being a beautiful female.



Beauty Girl
A Trans Life

Primarily Talking About Trans folk Topics and LGBTQ+ Support. Occasionally off-topic for other matters. “She/her”