How I loss a BFF
I have known this one person which I will call “Susan” — For the purpose of protection — for about 18 years, but after the transition, she became my best friend for about the last 2 years. She was my closest friend for a very long time, helping me through a lot of personal situations and stuff.
This friendship was very close, enough to call someone a Best Friend Forever (BFF) or so I thought. Recently things drastically changed that blew my mind away. The words that Susan said were something completely unexpected and for the life of me was so surprised that something like this could have ever been said after knowing someone for a long time.
So it started off very basic, not actually intended for this to go this route but basically, I explained to Susan that I was on an App, and was hit wrong with the few questions that I was asked that I haven’t heard in over a year. Questions like “What is wrong with your voice? and Are you Trans?” Which of course are not questions that I have heard in so long and it took me by completely surprised to the point that I felt I should share with my BFF, you know that person you talk to about some things to like get feedback or whatnot.
Of course, the entire wave of dysphoria kicked in like a bad disease hitting me. My god, the course of pain and emotional trauma hit me so badly to be called out even though I deflected.
So anyways, like I explained this to my BFF on what was going on and her response was as followed.
Susan — Own it. Don’t lie. You are trans. A better outcome than most. Own that shit. Stay True to yourself.
Me — I immediately responded with, I am female and was born female, I was only stuck in a situation where I was born with a health defect and needed correction through hormones and surgeries to correct my situation.
Susan — But that's what you are, you’re a trans female period. You are not born female.
Me — Again I responded with I was born female, I just had a health defect, I mean I even had been tested with an extra female chromosome.
Susan — I love you for you and who and what you are. Don’t try to be something you ain’t cause that will be an issue. You were born a man, you are trans and that's all you will ever be. So don’t be something you are not.
Me — I lived all my life as a female in hiding, and it was a lie to live anything else.
Susan- This is where we have to part ways because you are not the same as me, you have to accept yourself as I accept you. You were born a man and procreated like a man. You are a transgender male to a female. I cannot be friends with love and acceptance of someone who does love and accept who they are and who they are becoming. You are not a Cis female and we are not the same.
Me — What makes you different, that fact that you can produce a baby? So females are only baby makers? What about intersex people and those who are born without a passageway vagina or how about those who can’t have babies? Are they not women too? I never said I was Cis Woman, but I am a beautiful woman, a female…
Susan — “Left unanswered”
This day happened over the weekend, but a pain that still resonates inside my head. I have no clue about the answers or response, but I choose to block a BFF after such a long time and history of support only to find out her belief is that — “no matter what in her eyes, I will never be more than a Trans Woman and never be a female.” —
Like many other women out there who are completely against a Trans Woman being a female, and are completely against this in every way; I ask in openness to Trans Women and Cis Women,
What makes us different?
I challenge this question to everyone who replies without using being able to make babies as your only defense. Give another legitimate answer.
