The other night, I had my first dream where Mom visited me

By Barb Durand

My Mom

My mother passed away in October. She was prone to bladder infections and the antibiotics she was taking in late September weren’t helping. I took her to urgent care where she was admitted to the hospital for testing. The tests revealed that she had advanced bladder cancer. The doctors performed a procedure, but Mom had a blood clot in her leg later that day. She had surgery to remove the blood clot, but another one formed that night. They weren’t sure if she’d make it through another surgery and that’s when my Mom looked at my sisters and me and said “Let me go”. Granting her final wishes, we moved her from ICU to a Comfort Care room and made sure she was heavily medicated so we could manage her pain.

Her last 24 hours were beautiful as she was connecting us with our loved ones on the other side. I’m so grateful to have witnessed that as it gave me great comfort.

My Dad has Alzheimer’s so my husband and I had to quickly move in to look after him. I made that promise to my Mom. Hubby and I knew we would move in with them eventually, but we always thought Dad would go first.

The other night, I had my first dream where Mom visited me. It was a strange dream that started off with me in a classroom where the teacher was talking about baseball. Then I was walking to see Mom who was staying in a hotel/hospital. She had left the key in her room door and it was the key to our cabin in Lake Tahoe. When I walked in, she was sitting on the bed with one leg on the bed and the other on the floor as she was going through and lightening her purse. Something she did quite often. Then she said to me “I had a visit from my nephew”. When I asked “which one?”, she said “Neal”. Then I said, “Oh, Neal is actually your son in law”. Then she said “Oh.. sorry for the hassle”. I told her “No problem at all” and then I woke up.

Looking back at the dream — two things really stand out. Baseball and the cabin key. Mom loved baseball and was an avid fan of the Angels. If we weren’t at the game, we were watching it on tv. The cabin key is to our favorite place — Lake Tahoe — where we spend 3 weeks every summer. The “sorry for the hassle” comment to me is Mom’s way of apologizing for leaving hubby and I to look after dad.

Also, since she has passed, I keep finding pennies, dimes and quarters (no nickels for some reason).

I miss her so much everyday…

I miss you Mom