Why Is It So Hard to Accept a Loss?
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be
In the Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief, acceptance is the one that leads to catharsis. The hardest part, however, is reaching it.
The other four stages of Kubler-Ross’ grieving process or common experiences we tend to go through while grieving are denial, bargaining, anger, and depression. These could be seen as defense mechanisms that reflect our inability to come to terms with and accept the loss.
They rise as a result of clinging and unwillingness to let go even in the face of death when we are clearly left with no other option but to accept it.
The problem is our inability to let go
This could have something to do with how our brain is wired as well as with our culturally-induced habit of referring to people and things in our lives as possessions — my child, my spouse, my car, my house…
When someone is seen as ‘mine,’ it can be really hard to let go. In reality, however, we do not own people. What we have is a privilege of sharing a part of our life with significant others, and there is no guarantee it will last.
