The Great Pretender(s)

Kirk Ream
Transformation Matters
4 min readOct 24, 2016

The crowd gathered and we took our normal spot on the corner. The annual Carlisle Halloween parade was about to begin.

It was a beautiful night and unseasonably warm. For almost an hour we enjoyed watching people dressed up in everything from Ghostbusters and Harry Potter to Pokemon Go and R2D2. Local bands played, Candy was thrown (and eaten). It was a great night.

The parade always marks the beginning of the Halloween season for me. For two weeks out of the year it’s ok to dress up as something you aren’t. My kids will have costume parties at school. Trick or Treat night will happen in our neighborhood. Restaurants, bars and offices will have dress-up days.

Unfortunately, nothing marks the end of this season. Nothing tells us when it’s time to take off the costumes, masks, make-up and wigs and be ourselves again.

Actually, not only does nothing tell us when to do it, I’d say it’s discouraged. After all, do we really want people to see us for our true self? Isn’t it much easier and much less scary to pretend to be something we aren’t?

Sure, we say things like “Keep it real” (Actually does anyone say that anymore? That might be my 90’s days talking). But we claim to want to be ourselves, to be authentic, to be ME. But there’s nothing tougher than being just that.

Often times we pretend so much, we almost fool ourselves on what reality really is. But sometimes we just have to stop it.

As Republicans we have to stop pretending if a Democrat wins the world will come crashing to a halt and America will cease to exist. As Democrats we need to stop pretending that no one has ever done or said anything worse than the Republican candidate. We have our political costumes sown on so tight we forget that true change starts when we decide to start treating others the way we want to be treated regardless of our political tilt. Real transformation doesn’t begin on capital hill but in our neighborhoods, streets, houses and most importantly ourselves.

As Christians we need to stop pretending that when we came to follow Christ instantly life was perfect. Yes, we may have a hope, peace joy and purpose only Jesus provides but to continually wear the masks of perfection and “higher than thou” deters from the very reason Jesus came. We know life is still hard. We know it may not go as planned. We know people get sick, die, lose jobs, go broke and struggle just as much as before they knew Christ. Yes, we may now have a faith to carry us through, but let’s stop pretending like it’s always “all good.”

As people we need to stop pretending we know what it’s like to be something we aren’t. White, Black, Hispanic,Middle Eastern people have literally no idea what’s it’s like to live as the other race. Men and women view the world differently. Upper, middle, lower income people don’t have the same issues. We are different. It’s ok. We weren’t meant to all be the same. But to dismiss the problems of others simply because they don’t make sense or seem right to us is one of the biggest mistakes we can make and only leads to more division.

Finally let’s stop pretending like we are always right and “they” (whomever “they” are to you) are always wrong. Life is complex. It is challenging. It is difficult. To act like we have all the answers for every question at every moment shows more ignorance than wisdom.

On November 1, we will put the kids costumes away for another year. All of the Halloween merchandise at the stores will be on clearance (Hellooooo Snickers bars) and we’ll go back to being normal (whatever that means). But I have to wonder if we’ll really stop pretending.

Not coincidentally, the next holiday is Thanksgiving. What would happen if an attitude of gratitude became our primary mindset? When people, possessions and possibilities become blessings to be celebrated and shared, costumes of doubt, fear, judgement and hate start to fall off. When we clothe ourselves with faith, hope and love, we are free to be who we were designed to be…no costume required.

This story is part of our weekly newsletter called Transformation Matters. If you’d like to read the whole newsletter and/or sign up to Transformation Matters in your email inbox, click here

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Kirk Ream
Transformation Matters

A Carlisle native, Kirk spends his days helping build better lives at his gym Transformation Training & Fitness and his nights chasing five young children around with his wife Trinette. His writings are short, much like his attention span, but he hopes the lessons he’s learned will last a lifetime.