On my Biggest Failure: a.k.a. 10 Things I Learned Building a Community Gathering
Editor’s note: This post was written from my perspective and views are entirely my own.
I was on a total high. Jaded by the non-profit, tech, public, and private sectors and completely blissed out on developing people and organizations, I was looking to bridge these worlds and explore the rushing waters between them. I’d recently left my comfortable position at an NGO in Berlin to build a gathering of likeminded and passionate entrepreneurs looking to do the same.
So I got rid of my apartment and packed my bags for São Paulo, Boulder, and New York City to create the experience of a lifetime. We called it the Meraki Xperience. Part changemaker residency, part innovation camp, and part retreat, the Meraki Xperience intended to bring together many of the fantastic people I’d met in my own personal and professional endeavours over the last five years for ten days on a Greek island. It would be a space where we could be just a little bit more human. And further explore what that really meant.
After over a year of reflection and grief over what went wrong (and what went right), I hope this story will shine a light on the struggles behind creating and facilitating transformative learning experiences for those looking to do the same. While telling our story, here are our ten things I learned while trying to build an offline community gathering:
Sure, there are some things that take a while to make for a good story. Whether they be shameful, embarrassing, painful, or all of the above (and then some). Still, the best advice I ever got to gain some much-needed perspective in the face of a failure was to ask:
- What have you learned?
- What have you forgiven?
- How have you grown?
Then move on. Take your time. But there’s no need to spend multiple days binge-watching netflix and forgoing all physical exercise. Which was my initial reaction. Failure can be hard, but in the big scheme of things, our losses were much lower than many others in much higher-risk situations. No matter your losses, cut ‘em, but…
This is one of the reasons I’m writing this blog post. It’s a much overdue update to an entire community of people who helped make the failed project a journey and experience that, in many ways, succeeded beyond what we could have ever set out to create in the first place. As the adage states, it’s the journey not the destination that counts, and the people along the way made whatever place we happened to pop up in. From the rooftop dinners with people connecting over the Meraki vision to the countless skype calls across continents with like-hearted folks, once the gathering was officially canceled, we didn’t even bother to send out an email to the community we’d been part of forming. Which brings me to the next learning:
There was one particular moment when someone from our community, in response to the beginning of our struggles, said: “Just pick up the phone, start calling people. Send out an email. Tell them: we have a date, we have a place, are you ready to make this happen?” Too much planning and overthinking got in the way of what I felt we really needed to focus on: the people. In the end, they were our biggest supporters and strongest asset. A community has the power to collectively create the solutions (and purpose) needed. Never underestimate that and never let fear get in the way of that power. I did. Equally important? The following:
Our project never had a clear purpose. That’s not entirely true. It had multiple. Much like the occupy movement, it was a blurry vision combining a lot of ideologies. When creating something new, the purpose and vision need to be 100% clarified before really moving forward. This may mean that the timeline needs to be further stretched out. Stretch it out, if that’s the case. Simply put, vision without purpose is like a community without people. Maybe if the project had a stronger purpose, people wouldn’t have been forgotten about so quickly.
Perhaps the following quote best sums up what I wanted us to create:
“Maybe instead of strings, it’s stories things are made of. An infinite number of tiny vibrating stories; once upon a time they all were part of one big giant super-story, except it got broken up into a jillion different pieces, that’s why no story on its own makes any sense, and so what you have to do in a life is try and weave it back together, my story into your story, our stories into all the other people’s we know, until you’ve got something that to God or whoever might look like a letter or even a whole word…”
I’d just come from a gathering on a small island off the English coast for a community of young people under the age of 30. All doing something brave, ambitious, and new in whatever they were pursuing. The energy was electrifying. It was the kind of environment where one could finally feel that they ‘fit in’ where they may not have elsewhere. “I’m not the only crazy one!”, would be an oft-heard expression when stories would be shared about a Brit trying to organize ten-course meals inspired by fairy tales or another building an open university where conditions seemed to constantly stacked against his favor.
Where could these people go to not only exchange ideas and get support in a meaningful, authentic environment? Where could they let their guard down and leave the experience feeling as though they were unfolding yet another layer to their personality? It was spaces and experiences like these I was determined to continue creating. Setting out to create such experiences became more like a life philosophy… until it no longer did. Which brings me to the next learning:
We were very much inspired by tools developed within the Theory U and Design Thinking circles. Whether it was called ‘prototyping’ or ‘crystallizing an emerging future,’ my goal was to live the Meraki Xperience every day. Not only did it mean working to bridge silos across sectors, but it also meant bringing in more mindfulness and action research into the project.
Two from our team of three agreed to spend a month together in New York City to work in person on the project. I’ll say more on the importance of face-to-face collaboration below, but as I already mentioned: the people along the way made whatever place we happened to pop up the real Meraki Xperience. In order to build momentum for the project, we hosted offline gatherings including a beautiful rooftop dinner in New York. It was moments like this I wish we could have seen more as a prototype of what we were trying to create on the Greek island.
There, I imagined mornings waking up to yoga on the beach. We envisioned hosting participatory processes to not only introduce these tools, but also to help people get more support in their own work once they went back home. Unfortunately, more often than not, I chained myself to endless stressful email chains and design iterations for the marketing materials in preparation for the gathering.
Moral of the story? The gathering was already happening! When building a community gathering offline, build a community offline. Social media, emails, and marketing materials are important, but leverage your time offline with your community to make things like these a collaborative effort from day one. I wish we would have been better at practicing what we preached. Whether the gathering is about living a more mindful, healthy lifestyle and initiating participatory processes or it’s about gardening (or any other topic) make sure you’re walking the walk while making it happen.
Communication is key. Team collaboration across multiple continents is difficult and takes 150% more energy to make it work. Collaborating virtually is easier said than done. Yes, we have all these amazing tools that allow for group work from various locations around the world. But nothing beats good ole’ in person meetings, brainstorms, and difficult personal conversations. In my opinion, successful communication (and collaboration) takes 100% radical honesty. It’s easier to beat around the bush when you are communicating via Skype without having to really look people in the eye. And your intuition begins to take the backseat.
One last note on internal communication: things take time. You need to be realistic about your availability before committing. You need to do what you will say you will do. Which sometimes means you say you’ll have to do less. Overpromise and underdeliver, right? As young entrepreneurs, it was hard to know how long things would take with little prior experience to use as a gauging point.
On external communication: video and visuals are key for communicating an idea. Make an awesome video to share the story of what you’re trying to do and why. Inspire people with images that give a sense of the purpose for the project. Stay away from ambiguous nebulous language.
Only one of us had actually visited the island we were hosting the gathering at. While she had spent almost every summer there since her childhood, I can’t stress enough how important it is to understand the local context before trying to bring a new program to it. I didn’t realize what would be viable on an island like Patmos. Writers, artists, healers, and other creative types can thrive there, and programs would be better designed with these specific groups in mind. Tech work does not work there and part of our target audience would not have been suitable.
Speaking of target audience, I wish we’d done more user interviews/design research into what people were really looking for. While we had done some initial sketches, imagining a full storyboard or “user story” based on our initial interviews would have made a world of difference. From there, we could have designed the program and brand around that and come up with a value proposition that was really unique. Also, have more conversations on your idea with others and show your mockups at an early stage to get more feedback before moving forward.
Finally, good intentions are not enough. Within our vision and purpose for the project, we wanted to support the local Greek entrepreneurship ecosystem. Our mission was to have half Greek participants and half international ones in order to exchange knowledge and best practices for how to build thriving entrepreneurship ecosystems. Without any of us on the ground in the local context beforehand, it was hard to include our Greek partners in the design process. Furthermore, when building your team, make sure one of them is from the local context rather than just a partner in the initiative.
Our team was back on three different continents again with the launch date looming increasingly closer. One in Amsterdam, soon to be joined by the other in NYC and another still in Southeast Asia. Afraid the event wouldn’t happen, we pivoted. I felt we were compromising our initial vision of a gathering to support the local entrepreneurship ecosystem for a retreat aimed at an international audience that could afford it. Some of us felt it was the only thing we could to at least break even financially. I think all of us felt it was the only thing we could do to at least still host the event.
What I failed to do was to not just end the project right then and there after not finding a solution everyone was 100% satisfied with. Again, this is where good communication comes in. I carried on spreading the word hoping to secure enough participants without really believing in what the project had become. It’s pretty damn hard to inspire people to join something you don’t completely believe in anymore. And it will definitely affect your ability to make the project happen.
We’d built a fantastic advisory board of more experienced entrepreneurs to help us along the way. Even if it’s not one of your first times at the rodeo, do this. Besides offering guidance on how to make your initiative successful, people aligned with your purpose and vision can also serve as your best ambassadors to spread the word. I felt not reaching out enough to potential partners and advisors, especially in our darkest hour, was one of our biggest mistakes.
It got to the point where I returned to my home base of Berlin without anymore paid client work and no place to live. Needless to say, I was an emotional wreck. Personally, I no longer felt functional in what was otherwise a perfectly healthy relationship. I let myself, my partner, and my finances go. Don’t let yourself get to that point no matter how passionate you are about a project. Keep track of your personal finances and the ones for the project. Keep track of your personal life and nurture the relationships that can nurture you while building new ones for a big vision. Finally…
Looking back on it all now, I wished I’d been less hard on myself. I wish I’d forgiven myself sooner, taken better care of my mental and physical health to be able to more quickly put things in perspective. And (contradictory to the title of this post) I wish I’d stopped calling it a failure sooner. As one of our advisors and good friend recently told me: “Like all living organisms, this is the way life works. It’s not failure (judgemental negative) but: things went different than expected.”
To build on that, a plant never expects it will grow a certain way. It just grows.
Editor’s note: Written from my perspective, this post was inspired by a collaborative effort to combine all the learnings our team (including Weezie Yancey-Siegel and Ting Kelly) harvested at the end of our time working together. Views are entirely my own. Though the Meraki Xperience never happened, the dream of what a collective of people could create beginning with the question posed above is something that continues to live on.
A big thank you (in no particular order) to Bjorn Cooley, Julian Caspari and Schools Without Borders, Kate Ettinger, Pieter Spinder, John Moravec, Smiley Poswolsky, Thanos Kafkalidis, Anya Kamentz, Dan Siegel, Jenny Yancey, Konstantina Zoehrer, Erin Jones, Nat Koloc, Guy Fletcher, Alexa Clay, Gisella Sa, Luke Barbara, Mattan Griffel, Isabella Mello, Benjamin Riddle, Philippa Young, Evan Walden, Alexandros Pagidas, Damian Madray, Eddie Harran, and the countless other folks we haven’t mentioned here who helped us along the way.
