It’s Time to Say Goodbye
A “breakup letter” for myself
Dear Mr. Certainty,
I want you to understand that it’s hard for me to write this letter. You’re nice, you’re wonderful, and we have had some really good times together. But there’s something wrong. We both know it and keep avoiding this moment, but the time has come. You know what I mean. We need to break up.
In the past 24 years (how amazing it is to be with one person for such a long time), I have learned a lot from you. I still remember that you always told me to check every street and every store that I would pass by on Google Maps before leaving home. I also remember how you preferred to observe everything and make sure that you could control the situation before taking action. I was deeply influenced by this habit. Also, there was one time I forgot to bring the hard copy of our presentation. You said you knew that it might happen, so you already prepared one in case I forgot. Since that day, I have become a person who always prepare more than others do. It is you that make me become a highly detail-oriented and careful person. I think I would be a very different person without you.
However, I have to confess that I have met Mr. Uncertainty here in the US. I know that sounds like I am a horrible woman who breaks up with her boyfriend just because she finds a new attractive guy. Yet, things are not that simple.
Everything is becoming more and more complex as we grow up. When I was little, there’s no need for me to think too much. I just needed to study and play. It’s good to have you with me to spend that period of time. But now I am facing a world where there are multiple choices and there’s no right answer. I suddenly realized that I can’t keep living like you if I want to survive in this uncertain world. What I didn’t tell you is that I had had this idea since few months ago. I apologize for not being loyal for these few months. I think I was just afraid of losing something that I already had, but the truth is that the memories that we had are eternal.
I am not with Mr. Uncertainty yet. It is me that unilaterally likes him, but I am already deeply influenced by him. I start to check only subway stations on the map rather than every street and building, and start to be willing to explore the city. I even decided to be a risk taker. Even though I am not yet, I will go first without understanding the whole situation next time when there is a chance. With regard to my career path, instead of being afraid of making mistakes and trying to find the “perfectly right” job for my first job, I am determined to be more open to the unknown and learn from “imperfect” experiences. By doing so, I hope one day Mr. Uncertainty will notice that there’s a girl chasing after him — trying to be like him.
Thank you again for everything you have given me. There will always be a special place in my heart for you.
Sincerely,
ML
