Hotel Artemis
Hotel Artemis had all of the pieces to be something special. A return to the screen for Jodie Foster, The Sterling K. Brown and Brian Tyree Henry superstardom train, and a futuristic plot about criminals seemed like the formula for a 5-star success. But it never quite reaches the heights that its casting suggests.
The idea is an interesting one. Injured criminals need somewhere to go when a regular hospital means cops and possible jail time. But an idea can only get you so far and Hotel Artemis never goes as far as it needs to. There are flashes of brilliance here and overall it is an enjoyable watch. However, there are countless moments in the film that feel like a build up to something but none of them pan out. Everything feels flat.
There’s a riot going on in 2028 Los Angeles. In the midst of the chaos, two brothers (Sterling K. Brown and Brian Tyree Henry) are using this as the opportunity to rob a bank. When they don’t succeed in breaking into the vault, they settle for its patrons’ belongings, including a pen that promises to be important later on. The job goes bad and when the brothers are injured while trying to get away, there is only one place they know to go.
The Artemis is a secret hospital for criminals run by The Nurse (Jodie Foster) with the help of her assistant Everest (Dave Bautista). There are strict rules that everyone must abide by as there a limited number of rooms but no limit to the number of criminals looking for a place to stay. Real names are off limits and everyone staying at the Artemis goes by the name of their suite. The brothers are Waikiki and Honolulu (Sterling K. Brown and Brian Tyree Henry respectively) and other guests include assassin Nice (Sofia Boutella) and arms dealer Acapulco (Charlie Day).
There is an energy at the beginning of the film that draws you in. The dialogue is great though most of the characters speak in that clever Hollywood way to let you know that they are smarter than you but also not to be trusted. But that energy quickly dissipates and the rest of the film is inconsequential. And that may be the word that best describes everything that is happening in this film. It doesn’t matter what is going on outside, it doesn’t matter that The Nurse breaks one of her own rules when she lets a cop inside, it doesn’t matter that the pen I mentioned earlier belongs to The Wolf King (Jeff Goldblum), who is supposedly the biggest criminal in Los Angeles. There is no tension anywhere to be found even though everything is a narrow escape. This may be because there is no feeling of danger. Everyone is a criminal but they aren’t “bad” people. They don’t want to hurt each other and for the most part they don’t.
Hotel Artemis is far more concerned with being aesthetically pleasing than telling a story that matters. Director and writer Drew Pearce does a great job with bringing the world to life. Dark and gritty, the atmosphere may be the best part of the film outside of the performances. The fight scenes are spectacular and Sofia Boutella is just as good here as she is in Kingsman: The Secret Service. Jodie Foster and Sterling K. Brown both give compelling enough performances but both do more talking than anything of significance. That may be enough for some movie goers who are there just to see Sterling K. Brown as a criminal but for those of us who showed up for plot, disappointment sets in about ¾ of the way through.
I can’t quite put my finger on where Hotel Artemisbegan to lose me. It may not have been until the credits started to roll that I felt cheated out of something. I don’t mind the occasional mindless romp as long as it’s fun. But along with specific goal, fun may be the thing that Hotel Artemis lacks the most. It’s like a night at a Best Western. It was fine and there is a swimming pool, but I can’t help but think I would have had a better time elsewhere.
I give it 2 ½ out of 5 trash cans.
