The Art of Procrastination: How I Mastered the Art of Delaying Tasks
Procrastination as a true art
Ah, the procrastination! The true art of postponing tasks until the last minute, mastered by few but admired by many. As an unknown (but extremely wise) author would say:
"Procrastination is like a gym for the lazy mind, where training is postponing, stretching is stalling, and the result is a gold medal at postponing the inevitable!" — Unknown author
Really, we are not worthy of such knowledge! If you’re a master of the art of procrastination or aspire to become one, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll explore with humor and irony how I personally became an expert in the art of procrastinating. After all, why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right? Here we go!
Procrastination for dumbies: The Fundamentals of Effective Procrastination
If you, young padawan, aspire to become a true master in the noble art of procrastination, it is essential to understand the basic principles of this age-old practice. Here are some fundamentals of effective procrastination that will help you delay your tasks with mastery.
1 — Choose the right task to procrastinate:
Not all tasks are created equal when it comes to procrastination. Make sure to choose the most important and urgent task to delay. After all, it’s much more satisfying to procrastinate that important presentation than simply postponing cleaning your room.
2 — Hone Your Excuses:
One of the most crucial skills in the art of procrastination is the ability to create plausible excuses to justify delay. Be creative! From ‘I need to find my lucky pen before I start’ to ‘I was busy saving the world from invading aliens who tried to steal our coffee,’ your excuses can be as absurd as you want. After all, the more unusual and unlikely the excuse, the funnier and more effective the procrastination will be!
3 — Embrace Distractions:
Distraction is the best friend of the procrastinator. Make sure to have several sources of distraction at your disposal, such as social media, games, funny videos, or anything else that can take you away from the task at hand. After all, who needs to work when you can watch cute kitten videos or even angry ducks, right?
4 — Embrace the ‘Just One More Minute’ Syndrome:
The ‘just one more minute’ syndrome is one of the biggest allies of procrastination. When you’re about to start a task, you convince yourself that you just need one more minute to check your social media or respond to that text message, and that one minute turns into hours of delay.
5 — Another 97 fundamentals:
We could continue here for hours listing the other 97 fundamentals of procrastination, but procrastination never fails me, so I’ll stick to the first 4 fundamentals and leave the other 97 for later. After all, procrastination is an art that requires practice and dedication!
Thanks for reading!
If you’re feeling generous, you have the option to buy me to a coffee or a ko-fi for just $1 to show your support as an author. What’s the difference? Well, I’m not sure, as I’ve always been a procrastinator and have never bothered to find out.
