TRAVEL MEMOIRS

Chasing Happiness On The Other Side Of The World Didn’t Work

What I needed was something else entirely

A Qatar Airways Boeing 777 preparing for departure at London’s Heathrow Airport in 2018. Photo taken by the author.

I think Australia will solve all of my problems. That I’ll step off the plane and feel transformed. Like the people on Instagram who are smiling, carefree, and full of adventure. One day, they’re spending time with kangaroos. The next, they’re putting shrimp on the barbie and learning to surf.

Social media makes finding happiness look so easy. And I want that. To feel like I belong somewhere. So I save. Skip dinners, nights out, anything that doesn’t get me closer. Tell myself it will all make sense and I’ll be happy once I get there. And then, one day, I have the ticket. Round trip to Australia. My name on the boarding pass. Proof that I’ve done it.

At London’s Heathrow Airport, I walk down the left-hand aisle of the plane. People are already settled in business class, reclining in their big seats. Drinking, talking. Like they don’t have a care in the world. A flight attendant stands to one side, smiling, but not at me.

I keep going. Past passengers who don’t seem to care about the long flight ahead. Just leaning back, enjoying their comfort. And I eventually reach my seat. 30H. An aisle seat next to a guy who has taken both armrests and a woman…