Nemea the Lion

jimmy cracked corn and i don’t care but he can make a mean sazerac he can swirl his whiskey and rye and vermouth and a variety of bitters perhaps a shake of bitterness that he is in downtown san jose but my man jimmy he does know his whiskey he has mastered his cocktail

he does know his way around a bottle

normally not a good thing normally not a whoa hey that’s cool kind of thing we ain’t humphrey bogart no more we ain’t dean martin we ain’t sammy fucking davis junior no more yeah normally not a good thing normally not something you’d want to say about your kid or your siggy but

jimmy jimmy jimmy

jimmy the greek

he’s a bartender so that’s ok that’s all right

walk into nemea and there he is like joe the bartender wiping swiping the bar with a white rag having finished his boisterous salon with the mysterious mister dennehy

how sweet it is

and this place nemea it’s in downtown san jose which ok ok ok and pardon me if i digress i do apologize and i don’t mean to get all provincial here i mean who am i hell i’m just a cracker from south georgia some good ol’ boy hopped off the turned over turnip truck

but

shit lemme tell you

even this here redneck knows a cowtown when he sees one

and san jose yes well downtown san jose even though i have an office down there in good old downtown where they have boulevards that stretch eight fucking lanes across and have lights that can last half a lunch hour even though i have an office down there

san jose i refuse to know the way

san jose i don’t want to know the way

and in all due respect ms warwick

fuck you

and the cow in this town you may have rode in on

and that’s why i like taking the train she my little choo choo she just squirrels me down there from the city down this path straight through the peninsula and

sugar

i ain’t got to know the way

i just has to pays my ticket and it’s magically delicious i get in on one end i do my train thing i get out at the other

going from san francisco to san jose is akin to reading dante i can just feel my soul being pulled sucked out of my body as i descend down through the i know it’s more than seven levels of hell

and when i exit i fully know why we’ll never be rid of the automobile downtown san jose is merely a parking lot with office buildings and auditoriums sprinkled here and there

i feel blessed for my baby bullet train my beautiful carriage ‘twere it not for her i’d be forced into that automotive wasteland just another schmuck on the highway trying to light a joint just so i could find my way home

and i walk through downtown and over past the civic auditorium the sparkling high-tech lights tell me who tell me what famous rock band will lend us their song tonight and tonight

it’s styx

and i guess that just about says it all right there

but

as numerous wives girlfriends and those who perhaps simply don’t get me might say

hey dumbass it ain’t all about you this here tale it’s about

nemea

and

nemea

ah well she is an oasis in a desert

i happened upon it quite accidentally right after it had opened it just happened to be about a half a block away from a little out of the way upstairs in some old funky building dispensary that i happen to visit every now and then

out of curiosity mind you

and exiting said establishment and walking back toward the square which during the holidays transforms into mayberry

goddamn i know it ain’t its fault well maybe ok maybe a little bit it is indeed its fault but and it must be said this town is the red-headed stepchild of san francisco

but

again

coming back to

nemea

as i walked past her not really paying attention but out of the corner of my eye it hits me like a sparkling of a diamond

or the twinkling of silver teeth sported by the local downtown twinks with meth-rotted gums and well-off permissive parents

but

yes i’m sorry i do digress

and

nemea

out of the corner of my eye i spy a most beautifully bountiful and divinely diverse collection of fine bourbons and rye whiskeys and it caused my heart to go pitter patter all lined up there against the standard bar mirror all sorts of wonderful wares ranging from the lowly pours befitting the locals to the higher end small craft distillers

jimmy will even pour you a hirsch twenty five if you’re prepared to step up he’ll pour it with a wink and a grin

and he makes a fine sazerac i mean i tend to be a bit judgmental about my bartenders when it comes to my sazerac and jimmy well let’s just say

jimmy he’s a good man

and lest i pigeon hole jimmy lemme just say he can please the crowd and he aims to please i mean he’ll whip up a froo froo drink of any color size and shape if you call for it

and

he won’t even make fun of you

and

to his credit

because he is indeed a gentleman

he won’t allow us at the other end of the bar to make fun of you either

because like i said

jimmy he’s a good man

and

nemea

she serves a fine plate as well

dig the avgolemono soup oh my so lemony chickeny silky and sweet just like my old roomie chrono’s momma used to make

dig the octapodi them thick little squigglies squirming fresh off the grill dig the saganaki all aflame it’s a show it’s a don’t try this at home kind of moment

dig the lavraki i want to just pick it up off the plate rub its warm self all over her naked body voraciously have her over and over and over again

dip in my bread lap up the sauce

oh lawdy don’t you know

can’t get enough

of that funky stuff

oh momma don’t you know

if it smells like fish

you got to do what you wish

but

nemea

she be a very fine place she be a gem of a place beautiful bar worthy of elbows and faux cary grant pick up lines a bar complete with the little hooks beneath for purse or bag

i do dig me some little hooks

and she’s a long bar goes all the way back legs up to her shoulders and she has the obligatory television set for the ball game

personally i could give a shit think said video device brings it down a notch but hey that’s just me

and there’s a separate dining room nouveau cool country ranchero meets the greek isles with hardwood floors

even got them white linen table cloths so you can bring your clients here and be the high fallutin’ host with the most

i think they have a good wine list but i gotta tell you i wouldn’t know listening to these valley pussies go on and on about their full bodied cabernets and their limp dicked merlots starts to bore me and it takes away it distracts from the proper libation

which brought me all scooby doo chasing scoobie snacks into this place

so let me just say let me just finish let me just say that nemea she’s a fine place old joeschmuck i’m a’gonna give a high recommendation

i mean she ain’t quite the gonna get in my car and drive all the way down to san jose from san francisco kind of place but definitely she is a if you find yourself in downtown san jose and you can’t fucking bring yourself to take a cab to santana row

and god forbid why would you

then i would tell you to head on over to nemea and tell ‘em joeschmuck sent you