Tell It Like A Lesbian

Dear Tell It Like, I’m 19 years old and have been struggling with my sexuality. I think I might like girls but I don’t know for sure. I’ve even taken quizzes online to find out but I just don’t know. How can I know for sure? I think my parents would be supportive but I’m still scared. — Shelby

Dear Shelby, The internet isn’t the most qualified person to tell you your sexuality, you are. In my experience, if you are questioning your sexuality enough to take quizzes about it, that is generally a good sign that you are probably somewhere in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. That being said, sexuality can shift and might change over time. Meaning, you don’t have to “pick” one and then be stuck with that label forever. You also don’t have to figure it out immediately, and you don’t have to do it alone. If you have a friend you trust or you think your parents would be supportive, consider consulting them about it. The discussion could be enlightening for you.

Dear Tell It, I’ve never been in a long-term relationship and I’m turning 27 next month. I’ve dated, but they never last longer than a couple of months before I get depressed and break things off. Is there something wrong with me? Will this last forever? — Aston

Dear Aston, Try to remember that there is no set standard for when people are ready for a long-term relationship. Some people don’t start dating long-term until their 30’s or 40’s, while some start right out of high school or college. Everyone has their reasons.

It could be that your previous relationships have ended because you are afraid of something, and end things on your own terms before they are out of your control. It’s a hard thing to overcome, but a little self-awareness can go a long way. This pattern you’ve developed won’t disappear until you successfully break it, which can be scary. The next time you start dating someone, it might benefit you to mention this pattern to them and to assert that you don’t want to repeat the behavior again. Relationships are about support, and I feel certain that if your partner truly cares about you, they will be willing to try and assuage your fears.

Have your own question for Tell It Like A Lesbian? Submit it below (you don’t have to use your real name) and ask away! There are no limits to who can ask questions or what they’re about, it’s not just for lesbians! I answer two questions each week and would love to hear from you.

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Originally published at TravelPRIDE.