The Top 5 Overrated Movies of 2015…so far

What do the Hulk, “The Rock,” Chris Pratt and Christian Grey have in common?

Story by Tyler Christopher

Boy howdy! We are well into 2015 folks and the movies just keep coming! We’ve have action, drama, romance and sci-fi films galore! and do you know what that means? It means that a lot of films are going to be Over rated!. Now what does that mean “overrated”? Well to be overrated, you have to have made a lot of money and garnered a lot of buzz during your theatrical run . Also you have to lean on the bad side of filmmaking. So with out further ado, these are 2015’s top 5 most overrated films.

5) Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Hey did you know “50 Shades of Grey” was originally “Twilight” Fan Fiction? No? Well you should read more! That’s right, 50 Shades is the unholy spawn of perhaps the worst dialogue ever written for a movie franchise.

Now is this movie overrated? Yes, it was extremely popular on release, got tons of media attention and is yes the worst movie of all time. However, that’s not the most perplexing part, no that award would have to go to the audience. You see for a film that is basically about abuse, theatergoing crowds seemed very intrigued by the… how do you say the experimentation?

I’m just saying, why would so many people spend money on a premise they so openly disagree with in the real world? I don’t have a clue but I’m sure it’s because of how overrated it is!

4) Furious 7 (2015)

Billed as the great send off for the late Paul Walker, “Furious 7” or as I call it, (Fast and the Furious Ridiculous Drift) has finally turned common street racers robbing trucks, into this generations go to action adventure summer extravaganza. Seriously, “The Fast and The Furious” movies could double for the “Expendables” films; with actors only half past their prime. (Zing!) You see the great thing about the early “Furious” movies was the down to earthiness that allowed audiences to put themselves behind the wheel. They were “plug and play” movies you didn’t have to think about and you could just watch.

Now everything explodes! No one races and our loveable street gang is always being hunted down by the baddy that was a friend of the baddy that was defeated in the previous films. Mix that with a billion dollar gross and we got a bloated overrated film.

3) It Follows (2015)

Here’s a fun one. Imagine that there’s a monster that is always inching closer and closer to you no matter where you are no matter where you go. Now imagine that this terrible monster will only follow you if you have sex with a person it’s all ready following. That’s the storyline of “It Follows.”

Now don’t get me wrong, this is the only movie I would recommend that’s on this list. And that’s because it teaches us “Don’t be a fool rap your tool!” It also teaches us the idea of STD’s, as an ever-present matter, can be an interesting subconscious horror. However after watching the trailer, one can only be let down, when told spoilers!!! The movie, pure and simple, is an allegory for abstinence. Mix that with a terrifying monster and you have a movie that is 80% there and over rated.

2) Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Who would of thought that the tenth film in Marvel’s Phase 1 through 1,000 would be as bloated and incoherent as Gary Busey was on Dancing With the Stars? Don’t know who Gary Busey is? Here ya go. Don’t know what Dancing with the Stars is…then good, that’s a good thing because I’m certainly not sharing that with you.

“Age of Ultron” is an interesting choice at number 2 because it’s generally looked at as the lesser of the Avenger movie franchises. And it’s definitely overrated in it’s marketing push of its villain, played by James Spader. Nothing against Spader, but the character of Ultron was more hollow than one piece of Iron Man armor, (that was a joke, laugh). The problems lies in the fact that Ultron was billed as being the ultra nemesis to the Avengers, one that could not be stopped, however as quick as we are introduced to Ultron he becomes as petty a character as The Sandman in “Spiderman” with his first motivation being purely money based. Yawn.

All in all add a switch up of romances from the first Avengers; Hawk Eye/Black Widow now, Black Widow/The Hulk… (and when did Hawk-eye get a family?). and, “The Avengers Age of Ultron” fails to deliver on multiply levels and just confuses and thus becomes number 2 on our list.

1) Jurassic World (2015)

What do you get when you mix Andy from Parks and Recreation and Indiana Jones and a billion dollar movie hit? Well, you get a more in shape Andy from Parks and Rec, who just so happens to be a lion tamer. Indeed, it’s that simple; just like when you mix chocolate ice cream with vanilla, (cough…Wendy’s Frosty plug).

Chris Pratt’s, Chris “Prattiness” completely overpowers “Jurassic World.” His character exist for two reasons, first to tell the audience who have seen the 3 previous “Jurassic Park” movies, that dinosaurs are in fact dangerous, and second to give Bryce Dallas Howard’s character someone to bicker with for the better part of 2 hours.

To say “Jurassic World” is overrated would be an understatement. Cinematic story telling in its simplest form adds up to one thing, character development. Without character development you have no movie, or more succinctly you have a bad movie. And that’s what we have here. Lets take at look at the original “Jurassic Park” character arcs shall we?

First we have Dr. Allen Grant who hates kids and loves dinosaurs and who at the end of the film loves kids and “hates” dinosaurs. Then there is billionaire, John Hammond, who is an overconfident dinosaur enthusiast, who begins the movie on top, only to understand the errors of his ways and respect nature when he’s at the bottom of the food chain. And then we havet Jeff Goldblum, who begins the movie at a level 10 of Jeff “Goldbluminess” and ends at level 20. Now that’s character development! And that’s what “Jurassic World” is completely missing. Every single character starts and ends without growing or changing. Chris Pratt starts and ends as the “Dino Whisperer” who’s wary of corporate America, then there are the two annoying kids whose parents are getting a random divorce, and Bryce Dallas Howard as the “corporate stiff” who can’t take care of kids. Nothing changes with these people so why should the audience care? Why would the studio (Universal) that made it care? Oh yeah, becuase it will make a billion dollars no matter what they put out. That must be nice…