Massive ❤️ icons.
I usually will not resort to pictures and emoticons or emojis unless completely necessary. The sensible plaid tartan-wearing side in my logic doesn’t permit me the insanely unvalidated, devalued expression of love and its affluence in our society.
Yes, affluence.
Like many exchange systems, there could be shares of stock at stake in every human being invested in – your parent, your child, your siblings, your so called loved ones. These are the people who had you at their beck and call, and killing yourself to perfect that somersault at the senior gymnastics open, or to perfect your grade point average year after year, or perfect that caldereta beef stew that you’ve had exacted from taste memory that your grandmother had prepared very delicately.
When you stance the ideals to enable people to get together and stack them to meet their match, it’s like the nightmare of a “Gattaca” setup that influences a creation of mad science instead of understanding ourselves to the level of being able to see ourselves in others, and them in us, in good form. But only the affluent has this power and ability, they have their own children’s best interests at heart, and creates an unbelievable ecosystem of self-propagating commercialism propaganda that more likely increases disbelief in self, and after long periods of diminished natural interest, to attune to supplement to a basic human need – decrease the innate ability to understand people, and the importance of love.
Not because it’s Valentine’s Day, and we enjoy the massive commercial enjoyment of its icons – a real excuse for the affluent-at-heart to congregate, shop for mates, by searching to find their next partner in a life of having it all – we continue the high-stakes gamble of hearts to keep to an ever-profound meaning it brings to the perfected beings that we already are. (Or so we were led to believe by what we behold, and were led to believe.)
To love.
L’amour. Liebe. Hubb. Amor. Elskyer. Lief. Obicham. Agape. Ocaru. Liefde. Lyublu. Cinta. Pag-ibig. Rakkaus. Kärlek. Maite. Prēma. Amore. Elska. Khwām råk.
All these words mean only one thing. Love. And yet, they all bear different words to express it, that one thing we all feel, or should or have, or could.
To cherish.
What do we really mean when we say “do you know how to love someone?”. Is it a form of “do you love me?” Or “do I love you?” Our grandmothers had that word, in that song, in that Madonna video that meant exactly the way we need to keep someone we love. Because in keeping with tradition, we soar in our feelings of elation at being loved back, but being able to perfect the expressing of it, is actually the secret to its lasting effects in your life. Cherish. It normally comes up in marital vows exchanged, as a sign of trust and a show of deep respect and beyond polite regard for bride (or groom).
To compensate.
When we say exchange, it is a feelings-depot that can be as sacred as a Tibetan temple, or as Fort Knox guarding its 24k gold in some instances of either keeping them holy and pure, or under wraps for maximum security. The uncertainty quotients create a sense of readiness to divulge these feelings – very secure men make mistakes in letting partners know how they feel, and like a poker hand, were played and slayed at the table. So as humans, we sometimes develop outer sensors that intimate ourselves only to those who have the capacity to render our feelings very seriously and express themselves honestly in a sort of love dance, a cadence of courtship. We compensate for shortcomings we don’t usually predicate or see. And we pay for them dearly with time, and the currency of our faith. No one wants to be played. Nor slayed.
To mature.
So when two minds meet, as sometimes we lucky people can, we tend to doubt and undermine our abilities to stay the course, and bolt. Depending on the nature, and stage of relationship or courtship – it will always be sweetly transparent at the start, but become tricky as other factors come into play. Keeping an ear to the ground is always key, as well as being able to maintain a connection and play to the best of your instincts, when in periods of doubt and transition. Always display confidence in your abilities to “know this person”. And knowing entails being able to adjust, and explain, and submit, and endear, and relate, and be mature enough to say sorry, and eliminate doubts. Because, if you want her, then you know you do.
To nurture.
To be “there for her”. Nurturing the connection, the established relationship thus far, makes for gaining an intelligence that’s second to yours. It is instinctive by now to think about this person. You no longer just subject her to satisfy your knowledge prowl, about women or girls or your ability to attract them, but a real ponder on this precise person. Exacting a wonder (instead of always having her as a foregone conclusion), and wits about you - when it is about her, is the need that will be the everlasting foundation to your having your icing on the relationship, and eating it too.
To uphold and conquer.
To be able to say, “I married for love” sometimes is reward enough, for that exchange and going through what is necessary for her love, that enduring regard that had come up roses many moons ago, but is subjected to the same amount and quality of inevitable wane today. That is the enemy. To uphold against all odds that thing you thought, knew, spelled out, validated, as love. Not because you were Lancelot who felt like upholding knightly duties in expressing indiscriminate affectations to another, without distraction nor regard to consequence, but because you surround her with that secured emotion, that you are hers. Because maybe she is yours. The doubts, as the naysayers have produced along the way, and mostly the demons you have inside will need to be constantly battled and conquered – we need a constant watch on words conduct, and wholehearted trust, and that’s how we fight for the person we love. And this loyalty is a mightier expression than any sword. (And any dancing shoe.)
To celebrate.
When you do have the annual capacity of being able to renew those exact same vows, exact feelings, exact regard, and exact retention of love for her, you become a force bigger than yourself. And you are rewarded, not only at Valentine’s days, or Christmas, or New Year’s, but your own special day of declaration of dependence – that elusive love anniversary. This is testament of your truth, and her truth, and the thing you share, whatever that is or feel like now will be at a meeting point of remembrance on that special day, where you celebrate a special knowledge that only the both of you share. Whether you do this with a gesture, a fist bump, a séance, a grave visit, a poetry reading, tucking into a tiny meal at a downtown eatery, attending a formal ceremony like tying the knot as a couple, a symbol will always be massive with knowing that it is the definitive key to you. The key that she had given you to be able to gain access exclusively to her. And yes, it is a big deal.
So, no worries. Be affluent in the knowledge that extends to a peace of love as a pure expression of your self-nurtured person. Something you gifted to a well-defined (by you) other person you had sussed out very personally, to suit that multi-faceted understanding of what a “love of your life” was, and finally to conjoin to the very human part of you that makes you feel far more complete than ever before.
Puzzle piece, check.
