10 Themes of Better Coaching
Want to improve your players? Your employees? Read on…
This may read like a Tarantino screenplay — ok, so I hope it’s that good, mainly I jump all over the place, but stick with the narrative as there is a good reason why I have put these themes in such order…
Having spent thirteen years coaching, six years educating and mentoring coaches and a whole lifetime watching people’s behaviour, here are my thoughts on a some elements of coaching you could pay attention to if you find yourself in a coaching role…
Presence and Care.
Coaching is not about you. It is about them. The other. The team. The individual. The player. The employee. That means, check your ego at the door, and understand why you are there — to help the others get the best out of themselves. So listen carefully, and be there in mind and spirit for those who have allowed you in their space.
Relationships.
Our ability to build genuine relationships with others built on authenticity will engender honesty, respect, and trust. This will give us an opportunity to get to the heart of the other, and understand what makes them tick.
Emotional Intelligence
How can we build good relationships if our EI is poor? What is it? Well, simply put — it is our ability to understand others (and ourselves, i’ll come onto this) fully. What are people’s motivations? What are their dreams? What are their interests away from work/sport? What do they enjoy? How do they like to be communicated with? The more we know about others, the better the chance we have of connecting with them.
Self-Awareness
This is where Tarantino comes into play. In reality, this should probably be number one. But most people who are in coaching roles, don’t understand this requirement until they are usually thrown right in…
“Hey, we’ve delighted with the work you’ve been doing and the results you’ve achieved. We’d like to give you a promotion to recognise you. Oh, by the way, you’re now managing that team of 20…”
The first time I was working with a group, I remember being nervous and sweating all the way there, worried that I was going to be ignored or rejected by everyone in front of me. Sometimes they did (and still do!) but it’s happening less and less… which must be a good sign.
Self-awareness is absolutely critical for success as a coach. Ultimately, if we don’t understand ourselves, our motivations, they way we prefer to communicate, our personality, our objectives, our biases, then we don’t have much chance of understanding anyone else’s.
I can’t understate how important this is.
Purpose
What are we here for? What is this session about? What are we trying to achieve here? Why are we all in this room together? What is my team trying to achieve? The clearer we are on the objective, and the more ownership each individual has, the more likely we are to achieve it.
Limiting Beliefs
What is getting in the way? What is stopping them achieving their goals? Chances are, we are never, ever, going to find this out without a lot of the steps above, as the individual won’t trust us enough to divulge this potentially difficult, damaging, personal or embarrassing information. Sometimes at this point, it can get very personal and it is our responsibility as coaches to help, to facilitate and if there is something serious, ensure that the appropriate steps are taken to find the right support.
If the limiting belief is relevant to their role, then understanding exactly what it is, will reveal what is holding someone back and gives us the key to unlocking their performance.
Strategy
Once a relationship is formed and trust is built, it’s time to look at creating a strategy. The clearer and more specific the better, as the individual will be able to measure their performance and their progress and see that the steps they are taking are bringing them closer to the goal. The coaching role is not here to ‘tell’ the person what they should be aiming for, it is ideally to facilitate a conversation and a plan, where the athlete or the employee has total ownership.
Behaviour and Language
At the outset, it is vital to identify what specific behaviours the individual is going to take to move towards their goals. Changing behaviour can be a challenging thing, so it is often sensible to start with something small and observable, so as not to demotivate the individual or make it too difficult. Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey is often the best option here. A great way to observe progress, or to gain an insight is to listen specifically to the language being used, “I can’t…” or “I hate…” are obviously big warning signs, whereas “I haven’t quite got the hang of that yet,” or “It is difficult, but I am determined…” It may sound very simple, but language gives the game away.
Support
It is helpful at this stage, to help the individual resonate with their purpose, their reason for embarking on this journey in the first place. Are they trying to win a place in the Olympics? Are they hoping to get a promotion, or clinch a deal? Are they hoping to develop a healthier lifestyle?
Our role as now shifts to somewhat of a mirror, to reflect back what we are observing, or what language they are using. This will highlight the behaviour that is happening and the progress, or lack of that is being made.
Whilst confidence and motivation is important here, it is also essentially that we are forthcoming and honest during this stage (and all stages) — but particularly now, as it might result in a challenging conversation. We can’t shy away from that, but we have to be careful how and when it occurs. If you have built up a solid relationship, then you should have a great opportunity at most points, but if it is a little bit tricky, you might reach out for some advice — confidentially of course.
Leadership
The final theme, and really a principle is the development and creation of a leader. I mean, why would be coaching at all otherwise? For me, the opportunity to support others to be independent, confident, passionate executers of their craft is one of the most joyful experiences of coaching. When the individual succeeds, most often it will be through sharing and demonstrating what has got them to this point. They should be exhibiting behaviour and using language that influences others in a positive way, and ultimately be more fulfilled, committed beings.
If you would like some support to develop your coaching, or for your organisation to develop a coaching culture, please send me a message, it would be great to hear from you — drop me a line at stephen@triggermovement.com.
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