Figuring Out What Makes You “You” During College
College is a great time for figuring yourself out. Find out what changes might happen and how to get through them!
College is a stressful time not only for education but also for figuring yourself out. The overall experience is necessary for developing your identity.
Change is sometimes scary. It can be a good thing!
Throughout my first year of college, I experienced changes in almost every aspect of my life. I was figuring myself out in a different state and navigating friendships, relationships, and home life.
As much as I didn’t want to change, it was inevitable.
College is the perfect time to figure out what changes you need to make to be who you are. While some may seem daunting at the time, I promise they are happening for the best.
Why does change matter?
Change helps people grow. It allows them to develop proper coping skills and resilience to move on.
We constantly change no matter what. One day, you might wake up and stop using a product in your routine or introduce a new one. These small changes don’t affect us as much as the big ones.
Change during college is essential. It may seem scary and daunting, but it will be the number one thing that defines your identity. Psych Central references the idea that intellectual and social stimulation from college life causes the most change.
College is full of new experiences which stimulate new thoughts and feelings within us. It’s simply a part of going to school and growing up.
With the ever-changing society that we live in, it’s important to understand change and learn to adapt to it. Life will never slow down, so we must keep up with it.
Expect the unexpected
As much as I’d love to be able to see into the future, I can’t, so I don’t know every change that might happen to you during your college years. However, I can guess a few from my experience and peers.
Changes you can expect are with family, friends, and yourself.
As unexpected as they may seem, they will all hit at one point. It’s important to acknowledge that these changes are normal and okay. In fact, I think it’s a little weird if you don’t experience changes in these areas.
College is a time for growth, so it’s understandable that you won’t fit into the same bubble as you did in high school.
Family
No matter how good or bad your relationship with your family is, it will change during college. For some, this can be a hard pill to swallow. For me, it was gaining a lot more responsibility and independence.
It sounds good up front, but it means paying for my tuition, housing, meal plan, and other necessities while at college. When you are at college, you are essentially on your own.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents help me out here and there, but being at college has given me a taste of what adulthood will be like. There is a lot of stress but also a lot of fun. You have more free will than ever before.
Leaving your family and going to college gives you a chance to be on your own and learn what it is really like to be an adult.
College can also change your family relationships. It’s a common thing for familial relationships to improve when you move out. Riviera Recovery mentions that moving out reduces stress and conflict, improving relationships.
College gives you a wider perspective on your family and can end in a positive change.
The space your parents give you when you are away at college is essential for development. It allows you to become your own person and improve your family’s relationships.
Living at home can be stressful. We usually want a taste of independence, while parents don’t want to lose their authoritative control, so it’s normal.
College provides a space for you to be on your own, improve your relationships, and deal with adult responsibilities.
Friends
Who you surround yourself with impacts how you turn out. You will usually graduate with a different group of friends than when you started college.
Unlike high school, you will meet new people from all over and from different walks of life. College will have other clubs and opportunities to meet new people, and I encourage you to try them out!
Finding your people will take trial and error. Sometimes, changes within friendships happen slowly over time, and other times, they happen quickly. These changes can also hurt. It’s not easy to lose or fight with a friend. However, as people, we are all different, and sometimes, we won’t always agree.
Remember that this will pass, and you will soon meet your people; it will be okay. Your peers are likely going through the same thing as you: dealing with personal and external change.
Friendships can be hard to navigate, but always stay true to yourself!
Yourself
Change is inevitable. It will happen to you no matter what.
College opens so many doors of opportunity that you are bound to be someone else than when you were 18.
One thing you can change about yourself is your goals. These can be anything from changing your major to switching up your style. It’s normal to go into college thinking you will major in one thing and develop a love for a different subject.
College is about finding yourself; change isn’t linear, and everything works out.
Sexuality
Sexuality is also one of those things that may change, or for better words, be discovered. Our world today is very progressive and out there. However, I’ve noticed that a lot of us are still shielded from things while we are in high school.
I want to preface that this shielding isn’t happening negatively. Think of it more as a curtain up in your brain, and going to college gives you the ability to pull it open.
College exposes us to many more identities and helps us understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. It’s okay to think about the “what ifs” when figuring yourself out.
There is a lot of talk about “experimenting” in movies and TV shows when it comes to college and sexuality, but the way they show it can be harmful.
Her Campus stresses figuring out what you like first and not being worried about a label right away. Discovering what and who you want and are comfortable with in romantic relationships is important.
Being nervous about college is normal and expected. But it’s also a great time to discover yourself and new interests.
I probably sound like a broken record, but I want to ensure you understand that these changes happen for a reason and will be okay.
Change is scary, but it’s just another part of life. Take a deep breath and remember that you got this — it’s how you survive college!
