Gen Z’s Journey Through Situationships, Limerence, And Healing The Inner Child
Gen Z’s rise of “situationships” highlights casual intimacy without commitment, causing the risk of limerence. By embracing self-love and healing the inner child, individuals can offer internal validation instead of relying on external sources.
Gen Z has created a new label within the dating world called “situationships.” Young adults pursue intimacy without the pressures of commitment. However, they often find themselves navigating the aftereffects of casual encounters due to emotional connections.
Between romance and lack of commitment, Gen Z is relying on “situationships” to engage in short-term connections.
The Rise of Situationships
Situationships are on the rise among Gen Z. It focuses on sexual pleasure while also providing intimacy and an emotional connection. Due to its nature of lack of commitment, it is a questionable trend.
A situationship is defined as a casual and non-committed relationship. It offers a strong sense of connection, which may lead some people to feel an emotional connection due to intimacy. Research studies and experts offer insights on the phenomenon of situationships among Gen Z. They explore the prevalence and its psychological impacts.
In 2017, Carina Hsieh, sex and relationships editor in Cosmopolitan, noted that dating apps were on the rise, which may be why relationship statuses started to evolve. In 2022, Tinder reported for 2022 a 49% increase in which young users used the term “situationship” in their bios. TikTok has users sharing stories of situationships, and videos tagged #situationship have more than 839 million views.
The grey area between being committed and staying casual is what defines a situationship. Young daters are using dating apps as outlets for finding partners.
The traditional labels like “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” are not used; however, it is not just a casual hookup. There are usually dates involved as well, and the hookups come with emotional benefits. The appeal of situationships is mostly due to the flexibility and reduced pressure, allowing individuals to decide on their own terms.
Situationships Among College Students
The young generation is more likely to choose short-term situationships over long-term commitments in order to avoid responsibilities. A survey by Real Research, an online survey app, indicates that 43.1% said situationships for the current generation are a pragmatic approach to meet their needs.
Since dating apps have led to an increase in the hookup culture, dating in college has become complicated. A simple swipe can result in a one-night stand, which may be appealing to Gen Z in the midst of academic stress and trying to obtain a successful career. A situationship requires much less work, so it’s not surprising why it’s gaining popularity.
In a TikTok video, a student shares how the guys ask the girls on dating apps, “Do you want to hang out?” and later say, “Do you want to hang out or do something else?” This video explores how dating apps have become toxic. Individuals mainly use it for one-night stands or situationships rather than dating.
Jonath Haidt, a social psychologist and professor at New York University’s Stern School of Business, warns, “[Dating apps] are where a small number of men get all of the invitations, and that means they can be jerks.” Haidt also states, “We are going to look back on this and say that the dating apps had all the unintended consequences that are messing up the romantic lives of Gen Z.”
This is an interesting perspective that recognizes how women are more likely to want to find a serious relationship. In most situationships, women are the ones who end up expressing attachment, leading the relationship to end. TikTok contains various videos of women discussing their shared experiences of unrequited love and their challenge of letting go of the attachment leading to emotional turmoil.
Limerance and Its Impact
As situationships are on the rise, the danger of limerance lingers on the horizon. Limerence involves infatuating or obsessing over someone while hoping for reciprocated feelings.
The constant memories and flashbacks of the person may affect our ability to move forward. Situationships can lead to deep emotional attachments despite their casual nature. One partner would start wanting reciprocation, and when not met, it can lead to emotional distress and dependency on the need for validation. Even though the person was unavailable in certain aspects, fantasy or hope of the person changing can cause “longing” to occur.
Healing the Inner Child and Self-Love
Limerence often leads to love addiction. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous has a list of signs to identify love addiction, such as a sense of euphoria from the fantasized relationship, feeling desperate when separated from the partner, or using the relationship to hide from negative feelings or situations.
In love addiction, there is the concept of healing your “inner child” to obtain recovery. By reparenting your inner child, individuals can learn how to build healthy partnerships, set boundaries, and cultivate self-compassion. In the younger generation, healing one’s “inner child” is similar to the concept of self-love. If you are able to offer yourself something you are longing for internally, you are less likely to seek it externally.
Hiding behind a dating profile will not help you heal. Through getting involved in unhealthy relationships, your inner wounded child will come out.
When limerence does lift, you are able to recognize the fantasized partner was not who they presented themselves as. You could get all the affection your inner child craves, yet ignoring the red flags also means you are abandoning your inner child.
Finding Hope & Recovery
College students have a hectic lifestyle, which explains their need for quicker connections. Nonetheless, pausing and thinking is important before making decisions that might be self-harming, whether that’s a one-night stand or sending text messages for validation to an unavailable partner.
This is not to say situationships are all bad; however, being in one can be risky for one’s well-being. Relationships, especially ones that involve intimacy, are special and complex.
In a TikTok video, Sabrina Zohar shares how inner child work helped heal her anxious attachment not to be stuck in that house. The house represents her childhood trauma, causing her to feel abandoned and stuck, waiting for validation from others.
She acknowledges she and her partner behaved like kids more than adults. Through reparenting her inner child, Sabrina learns to fulfill her own emotional needs rather than seeking approval externally. Fostering self-love can lead to healthier relationships. Ultimately, healing can only come from within, reminding us that we hold the power to save ourselves.
