The United States of Trad Wives: Benefits and Concerns
What are Trad wives? Why are trad wives really trending? and can trad wives and modern liberal women co-exist in today’s world?
Nara Smith, Estee Williams and Ballerina Farm are some of the most popular names on social media that are the first to come to mind when hearing the trope trad wife. The Trad wife or the stay-at-home girlfriend has been aspired to and hated upon or criticized at least. But what exactly is a trad wife?
A trad wife, in simple terms, is a housewife or stay-at-home girlfriend who believes in and practices traditional gender roles. These gender roles are reminiscent of the nuclear family from 1950s and 1960s America. They often affiliate with specifically Christianity as a source of gender role guidance.
The rules of being a traditional housewife have been debated ever since this resurgence. However here are some rules or stereotypes that have surrounded the media. A trad wife honors and practices the natural order of gender according to Christianity, and of course, it is heavily religious. She refrains from arguing with her husband and is forbidden to have any income outside the home. Trad wife Estee Williams says that certain exceptions of outsourced income for a trad wife can be traditional feminine jobs such as tutors and nannies. She values a natural or 50s feminine appearance and takes immense pride/identity in their home.
Why do trad wives get a bad wrap?
This specification of moral values is what separates a trad wife from just any housewife. Being a trad wife is a preference accompanied by the means of having what is considered a luxury fantasy lifestyle. Trad wives on social media perceive their lifestyle as consisting of little to no work outside of those nuclear gender roles. Seema R on TikTok questions the authenticity of Trad wives. She shared that throughout history, women, including housewives, still had to work. This caused her to say that Trad wives are living a life that never existed and, hence, is a fantasy.
This fantasy that Seema R speaks of can be a reality for many women in today’s economy. Many women have no other choice but to work in order to maintain a living. Working wives and moms have financial independence and a greater sense of company/self, to name a few. However, as a result, they lose more time with their kids, and they still have to contribute such a great amount to the home with the little time they have.
Why are Trad wives even trending?
As we know, the United States, in comparison to other countries, is very modern. You’re probably wondering why this old-school preference is even trending amongst young people now. Even though being a trad wife is a luxury and/or fantasy, it is such an escape in times like this. According to a recent 2024 Statista report, in 2022, the U.S. annual inflation rate increased to 8–9.1%. That is over double the amount of 5.4% inflation rate that occurred in the year 1990, making it one of the highest, if not the highest, rate of inflation in U.S economic history.
Find more statistics at Statista
Despite the inflation rate decreasing to approximately 3.3% as of May of this year, people are still feeling the effects. California, New York, and Hawaii are some of the states that had the highest cost of living. Still, in 2024, many women are expected to do all the household chores and take care of their children full-time. With an economy that does not prioritize gender equality along with inflation, it is understandable why so many women want this lifestyle.
Wait…there are pros and cons to this?
Like every life decision, there are benefits and consequences when considering what steps to take. But does a trad wife have more benefits than cons? Well, we’ll let you be the judge of that. Being a trad wife can be a money saver in certain circumstances. Examples include childcare, fast food, and work-related expenses in response to emergency leaves. This lifestyle also allows more time for housework, hobbies/passion, and one’s spouse/children and also promotes a healthier lifestyle.
However, being a trad wife has its drawbacks as well. As a tradwife, you are majorly or entirely dependent on your significant other’s income. This could oftentimes cause conflict. Also, a trad wife with children can suffer anxiety and stress from lack of personal time, social isolation, caregiving pressure, and marriage strain. This lifestyle creates opportunities for career interruption, skill atrophy risk, limited political participation and diminished retirement savings.
Being a tradwife, SAHG, or working woman can have its stressors, but children have a significant impact. According to a 2023 study by the U.S National Library of Medicine “finds that the presence of children can significantly moderate the impacts of transitioning into employment among housewives with more traditional gender role attitudes but not for their counterparts. Specifically, as for housewives with more traditional gender role attitudes, the benefits of transitioning into employment are more pronounced among those without children. By contrast, housewives with children and more traditional gender role attitudes can hardly benefit from transitioning into employment.”
These study results can be affected by the testimonies of former trad wives on TikTok. A majority of these women throw caution into the social media conversation of the tradwife trend. Many of them share their experiences of their husband departing from their marriages. These women had to quickly fend for themselves in order to provide for themselves and their children. Some worse experiences included substance abuse and domestic violence. These situations have become so extreme that they feel trapped due to their lack of financial independence.
If the shoe fits, what to remember?
American Experience credits Elaine Tyler May in their article titled Women and Work After World War Ⅱ when stating, “In the late 1940s and early 1950s, Americans in their childbearing years had weathered the Depression and a devastating war, and they were living under a cloud of possible nuclear war. After studying statistics, personal testimony, and popular culture imagery and language, May concluded, ‘Americans turned to the family as a bastion of safety in an insecure world… cold war ideology and the domestic revival [were] two sides of the same coin.’“
Going back to the recent 2024 financial report provided by Statista, along with the divarication of the overturn of Roe v. Wade, I found myself in a state of irony. Americans turning to family as a bastion of safety in an insecure world following World War Ⅱ is homogeneous, if not repetitive, of the insecure world that we face today in one of the most notorious recessions in economic history. As a result, we are deceived into falling into a world of polarization that often plagues our politics and, hence, our beliefs of the public. This raises the question, “Can there possibly be a balance between the modern woman and the traditional wife in today’s world?”
The answer is yes, but with one crucial aspect. That aspect is TRANSPARENCY. When researching for this article, I found that many women on both sides of the coin did not or rarely mentioned the ramifications of either being a stay-at-home wife or a working wife. With transparency, we can implement such perplexities that barricade critical consideration in communities to provide truly the best life advice for young women in an honest world.
Article first published by Trill Mag.
