People actually pay money for these useless tokens — You must be joking?!

When Bitcoin first started out, many regarded the ‘Magic Internet Money’ as a joke.

Jan Wozniak
Trivial.co
5 min readMay 17, 2018

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It was impossible to imagine that a decentralized digital currency made by an anonymous developer might become a viable alternative to fiat for transfer of funds or compete with traditional assets as a store of value. As it turns out, the early adopters who held onto their coins are the ones laughing all the way to the bank.

Nowadays, within the increasingly tribal and fragmented crypto community, it’s common to treat the majority of different coins and tokens as a joke. The relative ease of setting up a new token has resulted in a proliferation of ‘shitcoins’ that only obscure projects with actual value or utility. For investors in the current climate it’s necessary to treat every new project with a healthy dose of skepticism and assume it’s not to be taken seriously until your in-depth research indicates otherwise. Fail to do so, and you may as well put that money on a roulette wheel.

However, lurking among the rubbish projects and outright scams is a small and noble category of ‘shitcoins’ that aspire to be nothing more than a joke. A few have even done remarkably well out this positioning.

Dogecoin is the classic example, which much to its creator’s dismay, achieved a marketcap of over $1bn at the height of crypto hysteria in January 2018. Once a project achieves this level of success, should we start taking it seriously?

Luckily for those who like their crypto to be a bit silly, there are still plenty of contenders in the ‘jokecoin’ category.

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Useless Ethereum Token transparently offers investors no value, and therefore no expectation of gains. No gains means few investors, few investors means few transactions, and few transactions means no Ethereum network lag.

Currently, UET is keeping its promises and living up to its name, with very few holders and almost negligible usage stats. But amazingly, at the end of January 2018 its marketcap briefly approached $1m. In May 2018, when this article was first written, it was sitting at a more modest $70,000. By December 2018, it has finally gone to zero. Mission success!

Despite being so useless, UET still managed to net its creator over $200,000 during its ICO!

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Fuck Trump Coin positions itself as a ‘political protest tool’. In the words of the token creator “By holding you are effectively protesting a self-interested and egotistical global power.” In some ways, this makes sense, as the act of converting dollars to a digital asset outside the control of the state could be a form of digital protest.

However, the trouble with just holding tokens it is not a visible or effective method of protest, as not too many people browse the contents of Ethereum addresses. Arguably, it’s much better to just buy t-shirts or stickers with a similar sentiment, or send your dollars directly to anti-Trump organizations and individuals. If the token was to be traded on a large-scale post-ICO, then perhaps the message of protest would reach more people, but as FTC has no real utility, this seems highly unlikely.

There is also a counterbalance to Fuck Trump Coin, which is Trumpcoin. TRUMP promises to “integrate itself into the agenda of President Trump”, with an ultimate vision of becoming “a worldwide grassroots fundraising tool for projects the president deems fit for improving America”.

Somehow I don’t see the Great Wall of Mexico being built thanks to TRUMP holders, unless the marketcap increases dramatically from around $159,000. Despite being around since April 2016, Trumpcoin doesnt have as many holders (3,358) as Fuck Trump Coin, which might suggest that anti-Trump sentiment is greater among the blockchain community.

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Jesus Coin brings religion into the blockchain world, and “unlike morally bereft cryptocurrencies, Jesus Coin has the unique advantage of providing global access to Jesus that’s safer and faster than ever before.” In addition, Jesus Coin can be used to forgive sins and holders are guaranteed not to go to Hell.

It’s got some way before it overcomes the Mormon Church’s $40bn valuation, and further still before it eclipses the Catholic church’s estimated $1tr, but if even a small fraction of the world’s 2.2 billion Christians get some Jesus Coin then holders’ prayers for heavenly profits could be answered…

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Penis is undoubtedly the most puerile of all ‘jokecoins’, and was created with the same logic that compels generations of schoolboys to absent-mindedly scribble phallic symbols on any available surface.

If you want to get your hands on some Penis, then it’s easy — you just need to add the token to your wallet. I can’t find any exchange that is trading this token, and there doesn’t appear to be any restrictions on the release of tokens in the smart contract, meaning it can be issued to infinity. It is indeed truly worthless.

But you could always give it to someone, and looking at the daily active users, it seems a few people are doing just this. Or perhaps you just want to hold your Penis, hoping it will rise in the future…

Interestingly, a few people enjoy sending this around:

Nov/Dec ‘18

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FUCK Token is best described by watching its promotional video. It’s usually difficult to sit through such material, but this is a well thought out and delivered concept.

FUCK goes back to roots of cryptocurrency by facilitating the transfer of a token to act as payment. Simple and elegant by design, this allows people to give a FUCK about things they care about, or give no FUCKs if something isn’t worthy.

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Some other notable joke coins that are not on the Ethereum network include TrollCoin, PutinCoin, PandaCoin and the wonderful Cthulu Offerings.

It is really quite interesting that some people are willing to spend money on what is most definitely a joke, with no true fundamental value. What does this say about the crypto community — More money than sense? Not to be taken seriously? Willing to laugh at itself?

I suppose it all comes down to your sense of humour! 😂

What is your favourite joke token, and do you like it enough to throw any money at it?

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You can get more details and track the projects mentioned above using Trivial’s token discovery platform that I’ve been working on — I recommend it as a launch pad for researching new projects or just browsing the Ethereum network!

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