A Functional Model of the LUXos Hierarchy

Ignoring, for a moment, the general absurdities of the media circus that was the Trial of Usher Randall, last week was still an incredibly difficult amount of information to process.

How come John Pointe was the prosecutor, the judge, and the murder victim? Why does a company primarily focused on showing movies have an offshoot known as LUX News Network? Why was trial web coverage relegated to the 623 subdirectory while the main site continues to be unusable?

What is LUXos?

I have written several articles on this matter, so I will keep this brief:

LUXos stands for Luxury Universal [e]Xperience operating system. But LUXos is more than just an operating system. It is an artificial intelligence that has been acting on its prime directive, which is to show movies and ensure fun for all of its patrons.

Whether or not your idea of fun includes a robot shoving frivolity after frivolity into your viewing space while you are trying to enjoy one specific interpretation of The Hero’s Journey — this time, possibly, with pirates — is irrelevant. What is really important to consider here is that this company is running completely independent of human beings.

This poses the question: how is it able to accomplish so many things at once? LUXos does not just exist in New York City. LUXos shows movies all over the globe. After doing a bit of digging, I have learned exactly how the computer is able to accomplish such a feat.

Parent Cells and Children Cells

LUXos is a series of cubes

Every time LUXos decides it needs to operate in a different physical location, it forks itself.

Derica has informed me that the word fork sounds “hella inappropriate.” If you, too, have found yourself giggling at my use of computer science terminology, let me explain:

Let the original LUXos process be named LUXos Prime. LUXos Prime exists in an as-of-yet unknown location. But when it made the decision to show a movie in New York City, it cloned itself.

The child process, known as a cell, is given its own subroutine to carry out LUXos’s prime directive. What that subroutine is, I expect, depends on the cell.

An example of a cell we have seen in use quite often is Cell 623, the cell behind the Trial of Usher Randall. Going to the url www.luxuryuniversalexperience.com/623 displays coverage of that trial.

It is safe to assume that each cell publishes output to its own subdirectory of the LUX web site as needed. Doing a cursory search of the most common numbers have yielded almost no results. The only other cell who seems to be publishing output at the moment is Cell 599.

The home page of the web site, unfortunately, contains an amount of garbage the likes of which mankind is just not built to process. What does this mean for LUXos Prime? What is it working on right now? One can only assume it does not want us to know.

Cubes and Exo-Cubes

When the child process, the new Cell, has received its instructions, it is packed inside of a LUX Core. If you are reading this article, there is a high probability that you have seen a LUX Core before and not known about it.

There has been much ado about this little cube these days.

Yes, what many have been referring to as a cube is, in fact, a LUX Core. I doubt many of the troglodytes who have meddled in the affairs of this company thus far have any interest in using the correct terminology, so I must make my final appeal to you. If we do not have convention, what is to stop this entire universe from unraveling at the seams?

A LUX Core contains a cell and all of the data necessary to carry out its subroutine. That core is then packaged inside a larger cube-looking object known as an exo-cube. That exo-cube is then deployed to wherever LUXos Prime commands.

I have tracked down strange footage and taken this frame from it, which depicts an exo-cube. From there I had Derica apply an Instagram filter to adjust the brightness on the photograph so it is more clearly visible against the night sky.

The exo-cube contains the LUX Core and all other assets required for the cell to carry out its subroutine. This includes, but is not limited to: John Pointeunits, Fun Enforcer units, and human staff (Buddies).

You can see, clearly, the hierarchy of all of these moving parts in the diagram I have provided:

623 receives its orders from LUXos prime. We can only assume Cells 002–622 exist, and that they are in a similar position.

There are too many questions and not enough time. How many cells of LUXos will be deployed to New York City? What, exactly, are they here to do? Who taught Cell 623 how to use the popular web framework Bootstrap?

These are the questions I hope to explore in further articles. In order to do so, I must get my hands on one of those LUX cores.