A Random Post to Encourage People to KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
I haven’t really posted anything new in awhile because of “real world” things but I just felt compelled to just write openly and honestly and may be it will resonate with someone else who just can’t sleep at 12:04 AM in the morning just lost in the sea of things going on in your mind and wondering how in the world am I going to get through this and that. And in the social media world profession, it’s always good to be “transparent” but as much as I post, I’m quite the private person as I know certain things should be kept private. Yet in this moment, I felt compelled to show another side of me and use myself as an example to maybe give someone else an encouraging word in this moment. So in reading this, many people may become aware of some things I have dealt with in the past 2 years. That doesn’t mean I need someone to pity me nor to look at me differently. I just want people to wake up and realize they are not alone. We all have moments though of feeling that way and feeling the whole world has gone “topsy turvy” on us and we are so overwhelmed by the feeling we don’t know what to do. Well in that moment, to find your center, you have to encourage yourself. And in writing this post, though it is to encourage someone else, I am also encouraging myself in the process.
Those nights where the weight of the world just feels slightly too heavy for your to bear…. we all have them.
Just because one may post positive things all the time and seems to always continue to fight on no matter what doesn’t mean the cares of life don’t get to them from time to time. About a little over a year ago today of me posting this piece marks the anniversary since my 2nd surgery and since then I had another this year and yet I’m still going strong despite the intense pain and complications I can’t even truly begin to explain to people. “It was just an accident” is what I tell myself every morning I wake up because it was. I can’t go back in time and change the events that have lead to this predicament and constant adjustment in my life but I can surely change my mindset about it — by accepting it, and moving forward the best way I can. A big change of mine is I can’t workout like I use to at this moment and ironically enough it seems every time I get fit and back on track I randomly have health issues that prevent me from maintaining. (And yes I will get back to my awesome frame again so people can just start a conversation with “Hello Troy” vs “wow you’re bigger now” and for those who do it, it’s cool, I get it. We live in a world where outward appearance is everything and if we can basically destroy a celebrity for gaining 20 pounds, who am I right? I don’t have to explain or use my health issues as an excuse. Nor should I be upset by someone who didn’t know the cause and feel forced to tell my life story of how I got to this point so they can back off, though as I am human who doesn’t want to do that at times right? LOL But I digress… I’ll just find a different way to hit the same result. And yes I’m well aware of my scar on my head too. No there is nothing I can do about it. I survived 3 brain surgeries so please spare me, just like you get tattoos on purpose, this is just a war scar that I am still determined as ever to live life. I can take anything thrown at me by the grace of God. Just don’t talk about my friends who have cancer and make fun of their appearance or we may have a serious problem.) Similarly, I always find a way to finish my work. It’s about working smarter not harder and finding new ways to go above and beyond to achieve what is necessary on whatever job I have. But I’m always pushing to be the best version of Troy I can be. It’s all about turning lemons into lemonade.
Stop complaining. Stop comparing. Start preparing. Start planing. Start pursuing. Start performing. Start persevering.
Every time I want to complain, especially those days/nights you just about had it and want to do one of those long “woe is me” type posts telling people don’t message me or talk to me about the situation (knowing that’s just going to cause the friend you haven’t talked to since middle school, your “pretend online grandma” and maybe even your teachers you use to have, all inbox/ DM you asking if you’re ok), I write it all out and then hit the backspace button and clear it all out. Then I write something positive or encouraging to someone or even myself. I’ll write about a good memory I had or just tag random friends I haven’t talked to in ages and reminiscence on the good times. It’s ok to vent sometimes as we all do it, but social media is not a therapist or physiologist and most problems should not be broadcasted on them as it could make the situation worse (especially when it involves someone else). If anything, I guess in the sense I’m writing this piece right now, if you have to vent, do it constructively, not to tear someone down but building someone up, even if it is just yourself. Blasting your problems online in a forceful way is easy. Controlling the narrative and remaining silent on many of the issues that may befall you as you continue to be positive is hard.
Meditation is to be aware of every thought and of every feeling, never to say it is right or wrong, but just to watch it and move with it. In that watching, you begin to understand the whole movement of thought and feeling. And out of this awareness comes silence. — Jiddu Krishnamurti
I have to remind myself that whether you want to or not you are an example to someone, so live with integrity and strive to live beyond your circumstances because that may be the very thing to help someone else. Everyone knows I’m a workaholic. If you looked up that word in the dictionary, you’d find my name there. I don’t make excuses. I just find solutions. Yet, because of the complications I have, I can’t always crank out the hours I use to or do 40 projects at one time. I have to pause and take breaks (which is probably a good thing lol). Yet, despite it all, I just want to help as many people as I can. Call it what you want, my personality (which is ENFJ in case you were wondering or if it’s genetics getting that big heart from my mom and unshaken will and determination from my dad), I’d rather take more load on my back and make it easier for someone else because I feel someone has to carry that extra load so the whole team can make it across the finish line. You don’t leave a friend when they are down. We pave the way so others can go higher than we can just like those before us.
Again life isn’t easy. And just because it gets hard doesn’t mean you are owed anything. Not everyone will be in your corner and those who you thought was in your corner in the time of “trouble” surprisingly will vanish, but don’t hold it against them, they are also human. The only thing you can do is let them go, learn from it, and pray for them. It’s those dark times where you TRULY learn who you are and what you are made of and how precious every step of life is, both the good and the bad. It’s easy to thank the Lord and encourage someone when things are going well and easy, but do it while you’re staring the eye of the storm in the face and have no idea what to do. It may not change how you feel or the situation but it will definitely make a great story when you come out of it LOL.
I use to wonder why is it that people who face serious health issues or have life traumatic and life changing experiences, more than likely have a higher appreciation for life and a higher will to live. Well, when you have to struggle for a breath, to do the most minute, basic things like blink, think, hold a conversation, eat by yourself, put your clothes on by yourself, read, write, see, walk, you get the point… you don’t take it for granted anymore (not that you did before but it’s definitely a higher sense of enlightenment when you can’t for awhile). In a world where time is money and everything is Fast Food and about immediate communication and always being on the go, it’s those times you don’t think about “how many breaths did I take just now”, or “how I don’t have to look at the keys to type these words “asdf jkl”, my brain is just sending the messages to my hands as they push the correct keys in sequence at 70 wpm, while thinking of the next letter, word, sentence, paragraph, to express my complete thought, while breathing, blinking, having my legs crossed, casually moving my right foot to ‘We Are the Champions’, all at the same time”. I said that to say you don’t think about all the things your body does all at the same time. You just do them. But when you can’t do them for awhile, or have to relearn how to do them, or can’t do certain things at all anymore and you have to readjust and think outside of the box to achieve the same effect… that’s when you look at life in a totally different way. Like seriously, on a more real and molecular level. You can get so deep into thankfulness and appreciation for life, and think about how many cells are multiplying as we speak just maintain functions throughout your whole body. Isn’t it so great to just be alive? Take a deep breath, hold it for 5 seconds, and release, with your head slightly raised and your eyes clothes, and you’ll just feel your life force. Well in that moment did you think about anything other than how good it felt to take that deep breath and release? No? Good. When life gets stressful just do that more often.
Not really trying to vent but just was lead to encourage someone who, just like me, is lost in thought on how they are going to endure, but with each new day you are blessed to awake, you get another day to go a little further. Just take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Find what keeps you going. Think of all the things to be happy about right now at this moment and say it out loud so you can hear. Look back your life or scroll down your timeline and see all those victories and precious moments in your life and hold on to them.
You can’t change the environment which you were born in, nor the color of your skin, nor how tall you are, but you can take command of the legacy you leave behind every single day you live your life. You may not have everything you want. You may feel the loneliest you’ve ever been. You may not even believe in a God or think God has abandoned you. You may have lost a close loved one, a job, your heart, your mind, haunted by guilt, tormented by the past, but you are alive right now so that tells me you can change your direction by simply plotting a new course. I can’t give you an answer on how to exactly do that because everyone’s mountain is different. But what I can tell you is I stopped saying “why me” and I’m owning what I must bear. No, I don’t believe it’s fair, but life isn’t fair. But living life is amazing. I’m thankful each day I can breathe, and think, and strive to do what I love to do. I am only 25, and I could give a long list of things that have happened in my life that many haven’t even experienced in their 60’s + (which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and if you haven’t more power to you and I’m thankful you haven’t).
The thing is, it’s not about comparing who has the biggest sob story. It’s about getting a grip and getting up. You think all these songs, inspirational quotes, scriptures, encouraging videos, etc. are just made or said by happenstance? They were done while those individuals (whoever you look up to or is your “go to” to inspire you) were going through something and yet they kept their head up high and found the strength to keep going. — Troy Sandidge
If you are breathing, you still have time…
You still have time to get it right. You still have time to lose that weight to get healthier or have a better appearance of yourself so people can stop with the fat shaming but most importantly do it for you. You don’t have to pull that trigger. You can put down that knife. You don’t have to be belligerent to them. You can outlive that lie. You don’t have to post that long negative post on your social channels. You are not your past if you don’t want to be defined by it anymore. You can change. You can go back to school. You can find yourself. You can go one more day. So wipe those tears. Take a deep breath. Your family may not be on your side. You may not have a friend to talk to right now. You may feel you are royally out of luck and everything in your life sucks and that it’s over. But hey you took another breath. And guess what? You’re still here. Your heart is still going. Your brain is still working. Still, don’t know why you’re still reading (LOL) but at least your eyes are still working.
So believe in yourself. Encourage yourself. Wake up in the morning and just tell yourself I’m going to try again.
I believe that you will get yourself together. No matter if no one believes you can right now. It all starts with you believing that you can. Miracles happen every day. Think of all the things that could have happened to you but didn’t. But you’re stuck on all of the things that have gone wrong. Open your eyes beyond the situation and break it down. Tackle each section one by one. And if you need a friend (whether or not we are “truly friends”) I have been known to be a great listener. I am able to keep things private and confidential (if it’s on that level) and I’ve been known to get almost anyone to smile and get a laugh or two out of them. So definitely open to listen if you need someone to vent to. I love talking to complete strangers and at the end of conversation gain a new friend. But either way, just remember that life is precious. Your life is precious.
“You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone. The prophecy is made up, but it’s also true. It’s about all of us. Right now, it’s about you. And you… still… can change everything.” — Emmet, Lego Movie
“Everything is Awesome!” (And Everything WILL BE Awesome)
P.S. I am a religious man so below I shared a few videos. Maybe you heard of these songs, maybe you haven’t, or maybe it’s been awhile, but maybe just maybe they will give that extra push to keep going.
First one is “I Try” by Mary Mary:
Second one is “Can’t Give Up” also by Mary Mary:
And yes ironically they just so happened to both be Mary Mary songs (not an endorsement or even a subtle push to explore their song collection, I promise these were just the two songs that were playing in the background as I was typing this piece.) I’m sure you can go on Spotify or in your music library collection and find a whole list of songs that may encourage your heart, mind and soul, so I admonish you to do that. Jam to it like the awesome person you are and put on that big cheesy smile and find your footing so you can get back to climbing again.
Stay encouraged my friends. Be blessed.
- T out.
