Humerotica

All Brides-To-Be Should Have One Last Fling Before The Wedding

This is your last chance for a bit of strange cock, honey.

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Aright, I got a nice few years reprieve from having to go to weddings — thanks COVID! But now the invitations are rolling in. Couples just can’t wait any longer. They’re gonna tie the knot even if it kills them — and us too.

But really, I love weddings. And pre-wedding events too, like showers and rehearsals. Here’s what I always tell the bride-to-be — definitely have one last fling.

Here are some good reasons she should take my advice and get herself shagged silly by someone quite silly:

• Monogamy is tedious.
• Men were put on this earth solely for the sexual pleasure of women, duh.
• Sex is a positive, not a negative thing. It’s called making love, remember?
• He’s probably getting a blow job at least at the bachelor party. So why shouldn’t you have a little fun?
• Nobody needs to know.
• It might be a top-five experience. You have no right to deny yourself that.
• Guys are really good at fucking other people’s brides. It’s Darwinian — it brings out the best in them.