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How to Become a Sexpert
Practice, practice, practice!
I’ve been writing about sex here on Medium for a couple years now. I guess I’ve spent that time earning what might as well be a Ph.D. in the Nasty.
I know all about how to please women, how to please men, how to please transgender, what makes a good lover, what makes a bad lover. I’ve learned it all.
And I know some kinky techniques to spice up our love life after I meet the person of my dreams, make love to him or her for a while, and then get bored. Safeword — Ouch!
I know so much, in fact, that I myself am now a Medium Certified Sexpert.
Would you like to be sexpert too? I have done a little research and I have put together a list of the pre-requisites and requirements. If you meet them, I hereby declare you a Medium Sexpert, of the First Degree.
- You have some kind of genitalia. Or you once had. And this genitalia functioned in the way genitalia might be expected to function.
- You have a helluva lot of free time. Like way too much free time.
- You’re kind of bossy. In order to tell people exactly how to have sex, you have to be a bit pushy, sorry.
- You’re a woman. It’s much easier to take sex advice from a female. When women talk about sex it sounds…