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Humerotica
The Three Things Men Are Better at than Women in Bed
Finally, some kudos for the guys — you’re not all bad, fellas!
I know, I know, it’s impossible, inadvisable, and offensive to generalize about genders this way, so I want to make clear right off that I am talking about my experience and my experience alone. Other people might find quite the opposite to be true, so please don’t take offense to anything that follows as I try to “rate” my same-sex experience in comparison to my opposite-sex experience.
Having had men and women as partners, I can attest that women are better at pretty much every aspect of having sex with my bogina. Why? Because they have a bogina themselves, duh, and they know how it works and they know what makes it feel good. Men…you’re just guessing. You’re flying blind. Sorry, you just are.
I used to think that intercourse was the one thing men can do better because dildos are cold. But then I discovered this product on the internet that warms your dildos for you. Now there’s no longer the shock of cold silicon going up your cootie when your GF bones you with the strap on. So men don’t have penetrative sex better than women anymore.
But there are three areas in which men excel over women sex-wise. Isn’t this great news, guys? I know, your gender has been bruised and battered lately. You apparently suck at everything and deserve to be overthrown as hegemons. But you do have this going for you. Here are the three things you are better at than women in bed.
Rolling Over
That’s right, you guys are so good at just rolling over after you finish. Women, on the other hand, they have to get all over you and cuddle you tight. Sometimes I feel suffocated. They’re so clingy! Ew…
Why can’t a woman just roll over and give me some space? Well, the answer is in biology. Female to female bonding is considered vital to the survival of primate species. When the sex is over, the woman actually feels that if she doesn’t maintain a tight, oppressive social bond with me, she will somehow die.
Newsflash, ladies — you won’t die. Rollover to your side of the bed. And don’t make this mean anything. That’s the problem — women…
