The courage to be vulnerable
Everyone has vulnerabilities, no matter how hard they try to avoid them. Most people think that having a vulnerability is something bad, as it means you have a weakness. However, for me, it is just something that is inevitable as we live in a vulnerable world, and it is more than okay to be vulnerable. Indeed, it takes true courage and power to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Nearly everyone feels vulnerable in relationships. No matter what kind of relationship we are in, so long as we love someone, we will usually feel fear, insecurity, and powerlessness to varying levels and in certain ways, largely because of the uncertainty of whether they will continue to love us and be there for us forever. For instance, we have the relationship between parents and children. Most parents’ love for their children is conditional on the child behaving in a certain manner that is the way the parents want them to be. This makes the child feel vulnerable, have conditions placed on their worth, and likely suffer psychologically. This is especially true if the standards set by the parents are particularly high.
As a result of the non-therapeutic relationships most persons have, most of us have a self-concept that we are not good enough (e.g. not smart enough, not beautiful enough, etc.). This is often associated with unpleasant feelings such as sadness, shame, hurt, unworthiness, and so on. Pain and discomfort often develop as a result. In order not to feel or numb those feelings, we strive to do something that can make us feel better or help us “forget” them. Those things commonly include drinking, smoking, eating, using illicit drugs, blaming things and others, and compulsive shopping. Nonetheless, deep down in our hearts, we know that the pain and discomfort are still there.
In fact, nobody is perfect. We are imperfect, but we all are worthy of love and belonging! So, let’s be kind to ourselves by believing that “I am enough” and accepting ourselves as we truly are, including our vulnerabilities. Once you have the courage to embrace your vulnerability, you can open up to yourself and the world around you. By doing so, you come in touch with your most authentic self, which can lead to a happier, healthier and more constructive life.
