Sexual, Feminine, AND Feminist
Balancing expectation of ourselves
You shouldn’t wear that. Why do you care about fashion so much? You’re part of the problem, comparing what is and isn’t “sexy” among women.
And just admit to anyone that you follow cosplay, enjoy science fiction, and have wanted to play the beer wench at a Renaissance Faire. My Tumblr feed features lots of sex and fantasy. I only reblog a few things, but I love viewing the images others post.
You don’t have to like it, and having choices is part of feminism.
It’s summer and I admit to wearing a lot less. Some people can’t handle that, either. Thin tanks? Bikinis? I’m fine with being comfortable and I’m okay if someone glances at me. Oh, well.
Do you want men to notice your breasts? Do you enjoy attracting attention to your body?
Yes. I do expect men to notice my breasts, average as they are, in a costume or a bikini or a dress or whatever. And I don’t worry that this makes me less of a feminist. You believe men walking around at a beach don’t want us to stare at their abs and wonder what’s just below? (And yes, I wonder, and my partner know I enjoy bulge watching at the beach.)
We should be able to balance being sexual, feminine, and feminists.
We’re all confused at times. We want to be equal to men. We want to be women. We don’t want to be objectified, but we also want to look good and feel good about our appearances.
As a writer, I seek to push limits and ask women to express and share their sexual natures. In sharing our romantic and sexual desires and experiences, we challenge ourselves to stop being, as a friend says, “so fucking judgmental about fucking.”
Read the stories women share with me, read the research I post occassionally. Define yourself, embracing whatever it means to be a woman to you.
Yes, we read steamy romances and urban fantasy novels with lots of sex. We watch porn clips. We view images of couples hugging, kissing, cuddling, and fucking. We masturbate. We fantasize.
And we want to be powerful, respected, equal members of society in all ways.
After all, men being sexual has never been a problem for their overall dominance in society. Our turn.
