In the ideal world, you know what you want and you get into conversations where you explicitly say;
This is what I want.
It turns out this is just about 40% of the story. The other part is if the other person is willing to give you what you want. And if they aren’t, it’s okay, they can leave with respect for your values.
Let’s say a dude is wooing a lady. There’re important things people don’t like to say. Things like
I don’t do quickies or I hate holding hands in public.
The reasons you’re saying these aren’t to just let the other people know. It’s more than that. It’s the conversations that proceed. You say those things and they say;
Hey, that’s gross. But I don’t really mind. Or I think we can’t date because you have a big head.
Saying these things upfront might sound bitter, but not saying them will lead to everyone assuming they know the rules of the game. In most cases, this is the only reason why people have relationship problems.
I really think knowing what you want isn’t enough, saying it explicitly is just what you want to do.
Thanks for stopping by and I’m wooing no one in case you took that one too seriously.