Nine Really Good Questions

Ask these to reclaim agency in a conversation

Original photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash. Cut by the author.

How often do you find yourself in the middle of a pointless conversation, wondering how you got here?

One moment, you think it’s going to be fun. Then before you know it, you’re desperately searching for a way out.

Meaningless conversations are commonplace. We waste time and energy on them more often than we like to admit. The scenarios may vary — here are a few I’m all too familiar with:

• Exchanging opinions about topics I have no clue about. Are you seriously trying to have a debate with me about the state of the real estate market?
• Someone lecturing me on their favourite topic. Do you even care if I’m listening?
• A stranger or acquaintance persistently asking about my private life. Why do you assume I want to talk to you about this?
• Talking mainly for the sake of avoiding awkward silence. How did I end up discussing weather again — and how do I stop?
• Stale conversations when no one’s eager to say much at all. Is anyone going to make an effort here, or am I the only one who cares?

Even just writing about these moments makes me cringe.