Self-Disclosure: When, How, and What to Say about Yourself
A quick guide to skillful sharing that creates closeness
For the past three years, I spent a lot of time designing connection-generating experiences. A lot of them have been based on revealing information about ourselves.
Sometimes, it really worked. The events I hosted helped us feel open and safe. They made it possible to have an interaction that wouldn’t have otherwise happened.
A lot of the time, we also missed the mark. People either didn’t want to share, or they did it half-heartedly. In those moments, I was observing subtle discomfort. We tried to disclose something in front of each other — but it just didn’t feel right.
Connection happens through sharing personal information with each other. This is called “self-disclosure.”
But not all self-disclosure is created equal. Here’s a little guide on when, how, and what to share to maximize our chances of connection.
Vulnerability is potential for both connection and hurt
First, let’s acknowledge this: disclosing information about yourself is vulnerable. You don’t know how you’re going to be received or feel as a result of sharing.
