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The Case for Postponing Difficult Conversations
Swapping compulsive sharing for patience pays off
We all know it’s good to talk about feelings. It’s healthy, authentic, and nurtures relationships.
Of course, the trick is mostly about the “negative” emotions. Most of us don’t have much trouble sharing happiness, gratitude, and contentment. But what about fear, rejection, and hurt? According to psychotherapist Anne MacCormack, these are some of the most difficult ones to talk about — especially in romantic partnerships.
To be sure, sweeping them under the rug isn’t a good idea. But postponing the conversation to a later date? It might be.
The magic of postponing
It’s one thing to talk about fear and hurt as it happens. When you express them in an unfiltered way, the effect can be disastrous. It can create even deeper hurt — both for you, and the person receiving your share.
It’s a another thing to practice distress tolerance. To walk away from a triggering situation, chew on it, and then address it from a centered place.
Talking about big feelings is akin to telling someone about an unusual experience. Think a mountain adventure, an accident, a spiritual retreat, the birth of your child. Often, it’s hard to find…
