The Most Important Communication Technique I’ve Learned

I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone who doesn’t want to be a better communicator. Particularly around management and leadership, good communication is a skill that continues to fascinate me. There’s been one skill however that I’ve found over the last decade that really drives a lot of my clear communication within an organization.

What if you took responsibility for both sides of the conversation when you need to make sure something is communicated clearly?

Often when communicating important information to someone we make assumptions on their interpretation of the material and it’s in those assumptions where the communication breaks down. This goes for our team (both up and down the chain of command), our peers, and even vendor relationships. When was the last time you asked for something to be done, without giving a specific time for completion only to get frustrated what it wasn’t finished when you thought it would be? Not being clear creates a level of frustration for you where you hold another person responsible for something they didn’t even know they agreed to.

Asking “can you have this to me by the end of the day?”, isn’t specific enough when what you’re really wanting to communicate is, “can you have this to me by 3:00pm so I’ll have time to review it before I leave for the day?” There’s little room for interpretation in what you’re hoping for the outcome to be and this allows the other person in the conversation to know what they’re agreeing to.

This technique isn’t just for when you’re trying to communicate something to someone. It’s equally important when someone is trying to communicate something to you. By taking responsibility of both sides of the conversation, you’re also doing so when you’re receiving information. What assumptions do you see being made? How can you clear them up?

What this is not

This isn’t a replacement for the importance of active listening skills. It’s not an invitation to just dump a ton of information on someone and not allowing them to come back to you with questions. And it’s most definitely not an invitation to micro-manage your team. It’s the exact opposite. The goal in this technique is to remove the assumptions you have about how information is received by the other person. What can you say to make things even more clear?

Find the right balance

The technique takes a little practice. It’s simple, but not always easy. Try to find the right balance in your conversations to provide clear goals, remove assumptions, and allow the receiver to have enough information while not hindering their thinking or creativity to get something done. The key point is simple: take responsibility for both sides of the conversation.

If something was misunderstood by the receiver, you’re at fault. If you’re the receiver and you didn’t understand something, you’re at fault. Push for clarity and never be afraid to break down assumptions.