How Being Weird Helps Develop a Growth Mindset
Unlocking a growth mindset by overcoming the need to limit yourself
My parents always told me I could do anything. They pushed me to answer my own questions, learn new things and think outside the box.
As children, we are always pushing boundaries. We dream of being superheroes, professional athletes, and rock stars. There is no concept of weird or different, only new and unexplored.
It wasn’t until I started at a new school that I first feeling out of place and ashamed of being different. I quickly started to evolve to survive in a new environment. I change my vocabulary, where I shopped, and even started buying school lunch, all to fit in.
When we get older, we learn the pressures of conformity and trade our dreams for what we think are achievable goals. Shame is the first destructive emotion that disrupts a growth mindset. When you’re around other people who believe in limitations, you can’t help but second guess yourself. When you start to define your limitations, you create a fixed mindset.
“If you imagine less, less will be what you undoubtedly deserve.” — Debbie Millman
I hope by the end of this article you will learn push boundaries and surpass limitations.
Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset
A growth mindset and a fixed mindset are two different psychological beliefs made famous by Carol Dweck, a Stanford Psychology Professor and writer of Mindset.
What is a Growth Mindset?
In Ameet Ranadive’s article Fixed v. Growth Mindset he says “Those with growth mindset seek and thrive on challenge. They want to stretch themselves, because they know that they will grow and learn. ‘This is hard. This is fun.’” I first learned of a growth mindset in Tom Kelley and David Kelley’s book Creative Confidence. As I read more about a growth mindset it truly resonated with me.
“Start with a growth mindset, the deep-seated belief your true potential is still unknown.” — Tom & David Kelley
What is a Fixed Mindset?
In Carol Dweck’s book Mindset, she explains a fixed mindset as “Believing that your qualities are carved in stone — the fixed mindset — creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over.” I think that most of the population has a fixed mindset.
“People with a fixed mindset believe that success should be won without effort — that you’re born with natural talents and abilities.” — Ameet Ranadive
The lucky ones, talented, geniuses, or “natural born (fill in the blank)” all of these phrases have described not just people but a fixed mindset.
How Being Weird Promotes a Growth Mindset
Why did I use the word weird? I find that people use weird negatively. Most people have a fixed mindset, feeling the need to categorize others to help themselves feel prepared for someone’s capabilities. If someone doesn’t fit a standard category, they tend to be labeled weird, different, or a wildcard. Generally, as humans, we want to belong; we long to fit in, but that longing can be to our detriment.
Once we free ourselves from the chains of conformity, we start to overcome some of the fundamental challenges of a fixed mindset.
- Fearing failure
- Giving up when challenged or frustrated
- Being inflexible or unchanging
- Having a pessimistic outlook
Overcome the Fear of Failure
Embrace being weird, learning, growing and even failing. At Stanford’s d.school, they push people to awaken their creativity by encouraging them to face failure early, then break that fear.
“Fear of failure holds us back from learning all sorts of new skills, from taking on risk, and from tackling new challenges.” — Tom & David Kelley
Cultivate the Desire to Challenge Yourself
Have you ever watch a video or read an article and thought, man that’s so cool, I wish I could do something like that? What if you could? Why not try? I’ll give you an example from my childhood.
When I was around nine years old, one Saturday my folks and I went to Fuddruckers. At Fuddruckers, there was a clown making balloon animal. “That’s so cool; I wish I could do that” I said to my mom. She took me to the bookstore the next day, and I got a book on how to make balloon animals. We then went to the store to buy the right balloons and I practiced. My parents didn’t mind the popping balloon sounds coming from my room; instead, they cheered when I first made a dog. This is just one example of the amount of support I received from both of my parents to do anything I put my mind to. (Yes, I know I’m weird, didn’t you read the title?)
Do Things Outside Your Comfort Zone
Growing can suck. It’s uncomfortable to do things you’re unsure of, or you don’t feel confident doing. This blog is an example of that. I have always thought that I was a horrible writer. In fact, I still feel that way. But I told myself that I wanted to grow and push myself, so I decided to create a Medium account and start writing. I’m not saying that I’ve overcome my fear or improved. But I will say it feels good to do something about my fear and pushed myself to do things outside my comfort zone.
Find Other Weirdos
Building a community of people who challenge you, accept you, and motivate you is critical in continuing your journey to growth. I’m lucky to have found quite the group of weirdos. If I hadn’t been in a band looking for a better bass player, I never would have found my biggest support and motivation: my weirdo husband. When you are passionate and curious, you’ll be surprised at how many people might share the same interest. Take a class, join a club, write a post, share an idea. Let your freak flag fly and be open and accepting of others who may or may not share your thoughts.
Be Optimistic
In Jane McGonigal’s TED Talks Gaming can make a better world she talks about “urgent optimism” and how optimism can help you make the world a better place.
“Urgent optimism is the desire to act immediately to tackle an obstacle, combined with the belief that we have a reasonable hope of success.”
Some people seem to have the impression that optimism is for fairy tales and airheads. I disagree. I think the most influential individuals in the world show optimism, courage, and endurance. Bravery is not fearlessness but acting despite fear. In the same way, optimism is not foolishness but rather motivation to push past obstacles and believe you will succeed.
Interested in hearing more from Jane McGonigal? You can watch her TED Talk below.
Thank you for reading! Have any stories of how weird you are? Share in the comments.
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