Taking the World by Fear

World Domination and What’s in Your Way (Hint: It’s inside, not out)

It’s sunny outside and you’re riding your bike like a motocross racer through the city. The air you’re cutting through is drying your fully soaked clothes and some aggressive beats are stirring up passion in your ears. You feel strong like bear, full of post-workout badassery, the endorphin buzz in full effect. You could do anything put in front of you right then. You could conquer the world and everyone in it, and seize things that seem impossible at other points in your day or week.

This is what moving your body does to your mind. It frees you from fear, brings clarity, courage, confidence, a tiger’s eye of focus and intent. Strength in the body produces strength in the will. Pushing boundaries physically forces a pushing of boundaries mentally. Conquering physical feats leads to conquering psychological fears, whether you work it at a gym, in a garage, underwater or on the side of a rock.

So cowa-fucking-bunga man, free your mind and move more!

Your potential deserves it.

When you do you’ll begin to see that the come-down from a physical high is a perfect time to identify some of the thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back in other areas of life.

So on my ride through town today post boxing sesh, mind racing right along with me, I tried to pay attention to the thoughts directly following the manic badass courageous thoughts — the “yeah buts” I inevitably run into when traffic makes me grind to a halt. The “rational” “realistic” perspective of my dreams that I settle for when I realize how hard this is really going to be, or believe the voice that says the world will not care about the things I create.

There will always be traffic lights, times when you feel disempowered and your fears begin to bubble up. The way to not let the traffic lights trip you up is by learning how to breath through them, enjoy the moment happening around you on the street, work through the fears you find with compassion for yourself, and haul ass as soon as the light turns green.

Wizzing through the streets, I thought about the “crazy things” the big pie-in-the-sky things I’d like to be able to do in life. I thought about the kinds of relationships I’d like to have with people and the ways I’d like to contribute to their journeys. I thought about all the adventures I’d plan and do with like-minded students of life, about the kinds of conversations and partnerships I’d like to have with people all over the world, about the way I’d like to write and be received as an artist, a thinker, a person, a community member and a friend. I thought about being financially comfortable and the first pair of Lulu Lemon yoga pants I’d be able to purchase if I can find a way to do meaningful business for myself, followed by thoughts of abundance like the ability to shop at Whole Foods without pocketbook guilt, and finally thoughts of luxury crept in complete with REI shopping sprees, worldwide adrenaline excursions, exotic spa treatments administered by mediterranean men . . .

Oops. :)

But really it’s not about all that.

The point is as soon as I imagined ALL that I could make happen in the world and in my life, it all blew up in my face. That is, I looked up at my burgeoning daydreams and they began to seem too big, too outlandish, too different from the way my life currently is. I began to see the distance between where I stand and ImpossibleLand, where my ideas lie waiting for me to come snatch them like some epic game of capture the flag, and rescue them to Reality. In that moment I did my best to throw out my net to catch those negative thoughts mid-air, reel them in and make them my science projects. *Muuahahahaha*

In answer to my first big dream of relationships becoming my life’s work : No one will trust me — There are plenty of other people out there with the same kinds of advice or perspective — If I want to center my work around relationships that means all my own relationships should be in tip top shape, and they’re not — I should probably have a psych degree — I need to be a better teacher / communicator — What exactly will this look like (for the nth time) — Will people really be into group therapy — Will they believe in the power of self healing — Will overcoming fear be a big enough priority in people’s lives — Will I make things cool enough that they’ll want to be involved — I don’t have all my own shit figured out yet — No one is knocking down my door in life to get advice from me, so what makes me think I have good advice to give (maybe I’m not seeing this clearly) — Will people really pay for meaningful conversations?

In answer to the idea of creating a brand around fear : Done? Scalable? Workable? I’m so disorganized — It seems so obvious the connection between conquering fears and achieving goals, what if it isn’t that important to people — What if the physical part doesn’t resonate with people — How can I please everyone — Will I be able to plan cool shit (need cool partners) — If I talk about yoga or meditation will some people label me and tune out the message (most likely) — Can this be marketed — I know people will pay for self-improvement, but will they pay for it if it feels like fun?

As for the idea of partnering with talented passionate people with similar ambitions: One needs charisma for things like this! I could use more of that — I’ve reached out but gotten ignored so many times — I’m not popular enough online for anyone to pay attention to me — Maybe I’m just not as likable as I thought — My idea is not original so people won’t care — Can I be organized enough to involve other people?

And my lifetime dream of traveling the world: Hell everyone wants to travel the world these days, you missed the bus, traveling is cliche now. {Traveling is cliche?! Traveling has always been cliche then because people have always wanted to travel — that’s the heart of an explorer and it’s my heart and I’m telling this kind of awful negative shit to it! Not okay.}

As to writing whatever and however I want : Every writer wants that (some writers have it) — You have to stay focussed and that hasn’t worked for me yet in 31 years (and yet that doesn’t mean you can’t evolve) — You can’t just write for you (can’t I?!) — An artist improves over time (but not necessarily by following the “approved method of improving”) — A real artist makes her own way — I am not clever or creative enough to blaze a new trail.

And maybe the biggest fear of all : If I do this, I will have spilled my guts to the world, every last gut, and used up every last bit of energy and willpower spilling them. And after all that, the world might be all “Meh, I’m good. Call my work “alright, but not for them” or worse, boring, and walk away.

Suddenly I have gone from planning world domination to cowering beneath my own dreams because either they are too big or . . . the truth, I am not willing to be big enough for them.

We do not give ourselves enough credit — or responsibility — when it comes to our destiny. You are more in control than you think (or you could be). If we are creators, then the one thing we should never relinquish creative control of is our own dreams.

When I see this happening, my dreams growing and turning on me, when I hear the protests that Rational brain shouts at Creative brain, the arguments Ego mounts against Spirit, I know it’s up to me to take control, to actively shift my thoughts, to forbid fear and thereby gain — or regain — access to my goals.

And this is my new obsession. Finding fearless.

I’ve been experimenting with several different methods for identifying, breaking down, repositioning and ultimately, overcoming my own fears. And then for using the energy from that work in every area of life to fuel dreams, enrich relationships, find expression, connect spiritually, and have more fun!

I’ll write more about this obsession if I find an audience here at Medium (and probably even if I don’t). But in response to my fear of having no audience, I’m asking for one.

See below for how to cheer me on.
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** Hey thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts. I want to hear from you! I’m infatuated with this idea of overcoming fear as the one thing that will propel you forward in any area of life. It sure isn’t an original idea, but the possibility it holds has been creating fireworks in my brain for the past few months. I see it everywhere, talk about it constantly, am endlessly brainstorming creative ways to build relationships and an authentic community around finding fearlessness, and thereby finding our potential — our destiny. If this topic resonates with you, would you leave a note somewhere on this post stating one specific fear you know is holding you back? It’d really make my day — and my badass bike ride. Thanks again for stopping by!**