Conversations in Black & White
Great communication begins with connection. -Oprah Winfrey
So, I’m introducing this awesome writer, Steve QJ on this week’s Hold my Drink + Counterweight podcast. I want to make sure everyone can follow him, so I give the phonetic alphabet to make sure everyone knows… “Steve Q as in… Queen, and J as in… I dunno Jennifer”.
I don’t think anything of it. Clearly, I don’t know the phonetic alphabet. I ask my dad later, a former military officer (also introduced as a character in this podcast) and he corrects me: Q is Quebec and J is Juliet. Ok, whatever…
Later on in the podcast, I interrupt Steve. I truly thought he was done talking, but he wasn’t. As I sit back and reflect on these podcast snafus, I think… was that racist? I wouldn’t even come to these conclusions, except for the fact that Steve QJ is black.
We discuss this in the podcast — the fear of even talking when every interaction boils down to the color of our skin (or as Steve would write — colour… Brits…). And now I’m sad. Did I offend my new friend? Is it racist that I think I offended my new friend because I can only see him through a Critical Theory lens — that is, by the color of his skin?
And what about microaggressions?
Is it like the Implicit Association Test where the first impulse is the final word on your biases? Is interruption racism? I interrupt my co-host David, and he me, all the time. Not in disrespect, but in excitement. Before he moves on to another topic, I want to add a story, or an anecdote. This is how real people talk. In real time.
Of course, interrupting people — no matter their race, religion or creed — is typically rude. But sometimes we just get excited. Sometimes it happens when you’re speaking with friends you truly respect. You want in on the conversation. There’s just so much to unpack…
Like Steve says in this podcast, if we embrace Critical Theory, which professes that we are all separate from each other and cannot understand one another, then we are lost. And as I say, I find this all exhausting. I’ve never thought so much about the color of skin as I have in the past decade or less. I’m often afraid to open my mouth because of a new “microaggression” that we have just invented, which may cause offense. Offense is never my goal, but conversation is, and if we shut down conversation and communication because of our obsession with color and constant fear of offense, then I must agree with Steve, we are lost.
And you know what… I didn’t offend Steve in our conversation. We were communicating and connecting as fellow humans. Fellow humans who sometimes struggle to find the right words. Fellow humans who are prone to interrupt in moments of excitement. Just fellow humans.
That’s my kind of conversation. That’s my kind of connection.
In the Hold my Drink — navigating the news and politics with a chaser of civility — and Counterweight Podcast — Episode 24, Conversations in Black & White, we speak with writer Steve Peters (aka Steve QJ). We discuss how our obsession with Critical Theory and anti-racism has created a communication gap. If we cannot speak to each other across our differences, then we are lost. Honest and good-faith communication is key, and we are determined to keep the conversation going. All discussed with a chaser of civility, of course, and a tea.
Hold My Drink welcomes all people with all kinds of beverages to join us as we discuss what it takes to imagine a new American identity, together.
Find us on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or watch the conversation unfold on YouTube, and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
What Steve is reading
The Good News They Won’t Tell You About Race in America, Commentary, Wilfred Reilly
The Miseducation of American Elites, City Journal, Bari Weiss
I’m Not Ready to Reenter White Society, The Nation, Elie Mystal
What Jen is reading
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