Gifts from my ancestors

This morning, I am thinking of the several lessons that I have learnt from my family. Ours is not a family where people share verbal advice very often, but I think I have still learnt so much from the ‘being’ of the people in this family. From my father, I learnt to trust in hard work, selflessness in love and never dismissing anything as unachievable. From my mother, I learnt relentlessness in taking care of people. And from both of them, both my brother and I have learnt the importance of family and a sense of responsibility. From my departed paternal grandmother, I learnt to sing and trust in the universe. From my maternal grandmother, I learnt grace and humility and consistency in little things. From my beloved departed maternal grandfather, I learnt humour, humility and utter devotion to family. From my mother’s aunt, I leant grit and the kind of commitment to family that brings grace, good spirits and discipline even while going through something like cancer. From my grandfather’s departed aunt who I had a special connection with, I learnt self reliance and humility. A common trait that I see in those who came before me is one of a natural surrender to life and acceptance of it, and a commitment to simple daily routines that are grounding even through life’s ebbs and flows. My ego finds surrender very hard to do but as I have grown, I have become better at committing to routines and at having phases of ‘okayness’ and surrender. I miss community in my life now and I have not been very good at balancing freedom and community. But the biggest gift, apart from all the lessons that I have received from family, is the knowing that I am loved, that there is a web of people, some of them that I don’t even think about that often, who will always wish me well, always think of me with kindness. I am also aware that this is a gift I get to have only because of the people my parents are or my grandparents are and were, and some of the love I received from this extended family is just a result of being born to them. I am reminded of this beautiful poem I recently came across:

“we are carried.

in bellies. in arms.

in love. in hope.

in caskets. in urns.

in grief. in memories.

our whole lives

and into the next

we are carried.”

-Sara Rian

I am carried. I am carried.