2020, a decade ends, a new beginning
well, here we are.
the end of 2019.
just under 30 days until my 30th birthday.
3 decades of life.
and what a life it’s been so far.
when you’re young you never know exactly how you’ll feel when these days final come.
you look forward to the milestones in your life.
18, 21, 25… and now 30… THIRTY!!!
well, i’m not thirty yet.
i’ve got one month to go and a lot to do before then.
but before i get there, i wanted to take some time to reflect.
i’ve been through so much, all of us have.
YOU have a story and no matter the ups and downs, you know that no story is perfect.
i bet you’ve done things you regret.
i bet you’ve gone through seasons of life you wish you hadn’t.
i bet you’ve lost people you never thought you’d lose.
there are probably a million things we all wish we could go back and change.
do over.
try again.
but we can’t.
everything we’ve gone through thus far culminates in the person we are today.
the experiences we’ve had, the memories we’ve made,
everything.
it’s who you are.
and for some of you, you’re proud of who you’ve become.
you’re proud of how you’ve responded to the woes and pains of life.
you’ve become the person you were meant to be.
and for others, you feel like you’re tripping from one season to the next,
never fully arriving at your intentions.
it’s been hard.
for me, i’m a little bit of both extremes
(no surprise there)
but whatever the memory good, bad or indifferent, i’ve learned not to take things too hard.
and that was hard for me to learn.
i’m secretly a perfectionist who is way harder on myself than most.
and i don’t like messing up.
but i’ve messed up a lot. a lot a lot.
we all have.
it’s inevitable. we are human. we all fall short.
we all go through things we can’t control.
should it really come as a surprise to us when things don’t go our way?
i think this year i’ve learned to bounce back more quickly.
i was used to getting what i wanted. nothing could stop me from it.
or so i thought.
until you hit a brick wall and there’s no way around. no way through.
you have to pivot.
life is full of pivots.
your life is not defined by what happens to you,
your life is defined by how well you respond to what happens to you.
think of all the things you’ve overcome.
i bet it was hard.
no one may know how the details of all you’ve been through.
a failed marriage.
loss of a grandma.
laid off from your job.
loss of an unborn child.
life is hard and the devil will kick us when we are down.
for me, i’m used to the ground.
but i don’t let myself stay there very long.
just enough time to remind myself how nasty the dirt tastes so that i never find myself there again.
you are worth more than your failures.
you’re more than your mistakes.
we serve the God who makes all things good for those who love Him.
and i’m learning how to love Him more.
what got me here won’t get me there.
it’s gonna take more of me.
more time. more patience. more grace.
i’m ready 2020.
if and when i fail, i’ll lean into it and bounce. back stronger than before.
God, you hold the future.
i trust you.
happy new year.
i declare, the best is yet to come.
-gb
