From Miami, with Love…
yesterday i asked my followers IG story to describe themselves using one word and one word only.
here is how some of you described yourselves:
blessed
bubbly
perceptive
champion
resilient
sassy
joyful (3)
loyal
persevering
beautiful
large
saved
eccentric
thoughtful
creative
spontaneous
thotiana (yes…this was real)
paradox
i was rather surprised and relieved to see the results were largely positive, at least the responses given were. but my mind tends to wonder,
do we ACTUALLY view ourselves the way we WANT to be viewed?
i tend to believe not every day do we find ourselves joyful, or beautiful.
not every day do i feel spontaneous or eccentric.
some days, i’m just tired.
and i bet you are too.
i’m not trying to repeat my “reflection” post from a few weeks ago,
but i think giving yourself a health check is overdue.
yes, you are creative and persevering and a paradox, sometimes all at the same time; but what about the days when you don’t feel like you?
i’ve been in a season where i feel stuck in one of those holes shia labeouf dug in the movie holes.
a shovels length deep and wide.
i’ve fallen in. on my back.
staring at the clouds passing overhead. maybe i’ll try to climb out today…
then when i finally do stand and begin the journey upward, i reach the top only to slide back down again.
on my back.
clouds overhead. i’ll try again tomorrow, maybe.
other days, i can see my future self standing on the level ground, reaching his hand back into the hole to help me up.
i know this won’t last forever. but for some people these seasons last longer than they should. and i wanted to take a moment to say it’s okay to be in the hole for a little bit.
there’s nothing wrong with gathering the strength and courage to try again.
it could take days, weeks, even months.
how long you’re down there will look different for everyone.
the important thing is never to give up on getting out of the hole.
and the key to not giving up is to have a healthy view of self.
lately, i’ve been talking a lot about self care (i.e. “reflection”, “more than fine”, “my apartment is dirty”)
and i think it’s because i’m noticing the things in life i’ve neglected to take care of are finally breaking down.
if you don’t change your oil, your car will break down.
if you don’t stop and analyze if you’re running properly, or even in the proper direction, you’re never going to reach where you’re headed.
and i think the first step and a vital step to repeat in the process of standing back up on your own two feet is a healthy view of yourself.
don’t be afraid to treat yourself with care.
i’m not talking about “self-help”, i’m talking about “self-love”.
do you love yourself?
and if you don’t know how to answer “yes” to the question, maybe ask yourself:
what specifically about myself don’t i love?
maybe you’ve been too busy to even notice that you don’t love yourself anymore. maybe you don’t know how to love yourself properly.
maybe today instead of a quick shower, why not take a bath? (men…just try it)
maybe it’s time to hit the salon?
take a beach day…or two.
get that coffee in a venti…you know you want to.
i think the problems we face in “self-care” (emphasis added) is we don’t want to be irresponsible with our time or money.
we think we can’t give ourselves a break because we can’t afford it….
or worse…we think we don’t deserve it.
this is a dangerous place to live.
self-love stems from knowing WHO you are.
knowing WHO you are follows knowing WHOSE you are.
and once you know that, being able to love yourself make all the difference.
and there’s a mental, spiritual and a practicality to this.
i’m telling you to find pockets of time you devote to loving yourself.
maybe that’s hiring a sitter for the kids and having a date night in the middle of the week with your spouse.
maybe it’s getting up an hour earlier to begin that new book you’ve been wanting to read.
maybe it’s taking the whole family for a picnic in the park on saturday’s when you usually save that time slot for laundry.
whatever it is, i think it’s vital to getting out of the hole, and staying out of it.
how do you really feel about yourself?
why do you feel that way?
what do you know in your heart that can change the way you think about yourself?
what practical steps do you need to take so change the way you treat yourself?
once you start thinking about yourself differently, you’ll begin to treat yourself differently. you might not feel it at first, but you can act your way into feelings.
and once you start feeling better about yourself, just watch how your feelings towards those around you will change.
maybe you’re not mad at your spouse or coworker…
maybe you were so upset at yourself that you couldn’t clearly see what the true problem was.
the first step of treating others better, treating yourself better.
once you value yourself, others will value you, and you’ll value them.
rapid fire today, but i hope some of you needed to hear this.
-gb
THANK YOU FOR READING
Give a “clap” if you enjoyed this article and share it with your friends.
Follow TruthfullyTuesday on Medium.com
Follow TruthfullyTuesday on IG
Follow the writer of this post Greg Burgess on IG
