A Guide To Code Switching
Code switching is a linguistic term describing the way we adjust our patterns of speech and language in an effort to better adapt to our audience. In practice, code switching is how we attempt to navigate intersections of culture, race, … difference at large, with as little friction as possible.
My capacity for code switching is strong…sometimes too strong. It works both for and against me. In those ‘for me’ scenarios, this capacity helps me to tune into the language of others and model my own language in alignment with theirs. To others, this switch is subtle, even seamless but nevertheless impactful. Code switching induces connection allowing the other to feel seen, heard and understood. In this way, code switching is a strong clinical skill in my work as a psychotherapist.
However, in it’s worst manifestations I’m left talking another’s talk without a rooted sense of my own walk.
As a kid, code switching was essential to my sense of security. I was born to parents who were pretty young. They were certainly the first among their friends to have children. This meant, I spent the majority of my first eight years behind the bar of the restaurant they owned, talking to grown ups. The bartender, Christy, would look after me, and the happy hour regulars were accustomed to my bellying up to the bar to shoot the afternoon shit. I was really really good at talking to grown ups. Being good at talking to grown ups was important. If I couldn’t do that, I would not have my needs met. Think about it, the adults surrounding me were very busy running a restaurant, and/or drunk.
I grew to become vigilant of the language used by those around me and skilled in my ability to tinker with my own language in response. The unpredictability of the restaurant environment, resulted in my constructing the belief that if I could talk like a grown up, then I could have some control over the chaos around me. Grown ups have choices; kids do not. The take away: It’s best to situate yourself in a position of choice.
As a little kid, my code switching foreclosed on a crucial part of my self: getting to be a kid. I became way too skilled at navigating a grown up world, and in turn had the felt sense of being much more powerful and persuasive than is appropriate for a small child. This perceived power translated to anxiety, as I understood myself to be responsible for maintaining composure in the face of chaos. That anxiety and unreasonably vast sense of responsibility has a grip on me to this day.
So, if we zoom out of this story of my kid self, and look at how code switching plays out in our cultural landscape, we can see that the take away is the same: it’s advantageous to situate yourself in a position of choice unless doing so compromises your identity. Some folks of privilege are afforded nearly unbridled choice and concern themselves little with code switching. It’s simply not a consideration in their experience of security and safety. For those of us who do not experience such privilege, learning to talk others talk is essential to survival.
So, how can code switching land squarely in the advantage pile?
As humans, we have an innate yearning to feel as though we belong. Code switching can contribute to facilitating belonging, or foreclose on it. Awareness is the liberator. When we are aware of when, why, and for whom we are engaging in code switching, then we have the freedom of choice. If the “for whom” question can be answered “for myself,” then engagement in code switching is an asset to, rather than an attack on our identity. With insight, awareness, and choice, code switching allows us to talk anyone’s talk, while deepening our own understanding of different facets of our self and staying rooted in our own walk.
About The Author
Coley Williams is the Co-Founder, and Chief Medical Officer of Level Therapy. She is also Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and practicing Psychotherapist. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.
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